Unvanquished: Redux
by chezchuckles
Summary: An epilogue to the epilogue found in Unvanquished. One year later.
1. Chapter 1

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

Kate was on her back in the green grass, watching the sky shiver blue. The trees dipped their branches overhead, in and out of view, and even with the shuffling breeze, the sunlight managed to keep them warm, held in the glow of afternoon contentment.

The baby on Kate's chest lifted her head and peeked at her mother, then laid back down, soft brown hair brushing Kate's face.

"Reese?"

Her head lifted again, round brown eyes, baby cheeks.

"Hey, there. You're ready to eat, I know."

Her head went down on Kate's chest, heavy and warm, unable to stay up; Kate did the same, letting her head fall to the grass in relief, muscles shaking. She brushed her palms up and down the baby's back, closing her eyes.

"Daddy will be home soon."

She hoped very soon. And then again, she wished she could prolong this moment, never leave. Their time at the kremlin - their Russian castle - had come to an end; they were moving to Versailles, outside Paris. They'd picked out the place online; it'd already been paid for. All of this in a week.

Last weekend at the Black Sea, just their little family minus Alexis, someone had seemed to recognize him - some starlet or media maven - they didn't know who, hadn't seen the moment or the hesitant realization on some quasi-familiar face. But Alexis had called to warn them that New York City gossip magazines were picking up and running a story about Rick Castle being seen with a mystery woman and her baby.

The world thought Kate Beckett was dead, and they were perhaps a little too eager to see Richard Castle moving on. Or too ready to be vicious. Alexis wouldn't tell them which way the story slanted, and so far, Kate had managed to keep Rick away from the message boards.

The baby whimpered against her chest, nuzzling, a little first curling in Kate's shirt, mouth open.

"Sorry, sorry. We gotta stay right here for a little while, Reese. Mommy can't make it back up the hill yet."

Kate wrapped her arms around Reese and pressed the baby's head to her chest; she was heavy, and she made it harder to breathe, but Kate wouldn't move her off.

Even if she couldn't quite catch her breath.

She closed her eyes, let the sun on her face calm her overworked heart.

* * *

"You fell asleep," he murmured softly, brushing his hand over her cheek. Her eyes were drifting slowly open and she looked at him.

"I left you a note," she said back.

"I saw it," he laughed. She'd scrawled it across the chalkboard in the kitchen, then dragged the board into the front foyer and propped it up where he couldn't possibly miss it. _Took Reese to the bridge; come find us._

"Can you take her?" she said suddenly, a flicker of something in her eyes. Regret or pain, probably both.

He was used to it, but it still made him feel guilty. His fault she couldn't breathe too well, his fault she-

"Castle," she hissed.

He grabbed the baby, scooping Reese off her mother's chest, cuddling her to his own as he watched Kate in the grass. She blinked, a hand at her ribs; it took a moment, but then her chest expanded with a deeper breath. He relaxed.

The baby rubbed her cheek against his shirt. "She's hungry."

"Yeah," Kate breathed out, eyes closing again.

"Want up?"

"Not yet."

He nodded even though she wasn't looking. After a minute, with Reese growing increasingly fussy against him (she seemed to sense that he was the pushover, the one who'd give in immediately to her restless and pathetic cries), Kate opened her eyes in the grass and lifted her hand to him.

He stood up, Reese cradled against him in a football carry, and then reached down to pull Kate to her feet. She swayed, frustration rolling off of her in waves, and then she took a step back slowly.

"I'm good," she said, preempting his question.

He followed her as she started back down the path, over the footbridge and up the hill, the baby growing still and distracted by the sway of light through the trees.

"You got stuck here," he said finally.

She nodded.

"Kate."

"I know. But I knew you'd be back soon."

He knew it wasn't as soon as she'd have liked. But he'd stopped in town for bread - she loved the rye bread they made at this one bakery, and he'd thought it would be a kind of last meal - and that put him back here later than he'd meant to get home.

"It's nearly six."

"Oh." She turned carefully, biting her lip as she looked at the baby. "She's got to be starving."

"Did you feed her before you left?"

"Of course."

"Then she'll survive," Castle said, shrugging. He was pretty sure the baby would be fine; she'd fallen asleep on top of Kate's chest as well, lulled by her mother's heartbeat, as usual, so she couldn't have been that uncomfortable. It was Reese's favorite napping position and they'd spoiled her.

Kate turned back to the path; he rubbed his fingers over the baby's head, kissed the swirl of dark hair at her crown.

Reese gave a little sigh; he echoed it; they headed for the house.

* * *

"Hey, Scout, you hungry?" He murmured nonsense to her as he fiddled with the bottle, keeping one eye on her in the bouncy seat. She fisted her hands and worked to get them in her mouth, but she didn't do a whole lot of bouncing.

Which was good, since Kate had put her up on the wide kitchen table. Of course, Kate was also sitting there, a hand over Reese's foot, but Castle was pretty sure that Kate couldn't save their daughter if the girl suddenly decided to bounce right off the table.

It'd be hard for Reese to do, positioned as she was in the middle, but Castle's sense of danger at every corner hadn't lessened with the baby's birth. It had only increased, exponentially.

Still. Nothing for it. That was his life.

He tested the bottle against his arm and came to the table with it. Kate shook her head when he offered it to her, so he fed Reese himself, sitting down at the table with them, arm propped up.

The baby sucked eagerly at the bottle, but she didn't seem famished. Castle made faces at Reese as she worked at it, managed to get what he considered a grin around the bottle.

He felt Kate lean against his shoulder, weariness in her every movement. He used his left hand to reach across his body and stroke through her hair, pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She smelled like Reese. Or Reese smelled like her.

"Hey."

"Tired. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

"Did you get everything settled?"

"Yeah. Movers will come in after us and get everything we leave."

"I scoured the place today, but I want you to go behind me and check. Make sure I haven't left anything."

"I'm sure you've erased all traces of yourself." He grinned at the look she gave him. "Hey. The story will blow over. No one will know I've moved out of here; we've figured it all out."

"It won't hurt your reputation, will it?"

"I don't think so. Not in the long run."

"Next time we'll be more careful."

"Kate. It was a fluke. It might happen again, but I doubt it. I'm not well known in France."

"Your novels have been translated-"

"Yeah, but I don't tour there. In the UK some, but not in France. Plus, the culture is different."

"They have more paparazzi in Europe though. I don't know what we're going to-"

"Hide in plain sight. Your hair is so light now. . ." He trailed off, fingers touching the strands again. She had spent the past two years headed outside, always in the sunlight, walking the grounds as she tried to rebuild her strength. He knew it had something to do with the dreams she had about being confined, but now her hair was this golden brown with beautiful highlights streaking through it. "And short."

"You said you didn't mind-"

"I don't. I'm messing with you." He kissed her forehead, and she lifted up from his shoulder. "I'm sure you did fine. But I'll take a tour around the place and make sure there's no baby stuff."

"And no pictures, no feminine touches-"

"Hey now. Alexis stays here. And the people in town - Kate - honestly, they know you're here. They don't know who you are, but the guy who owns the bakery? He put in an extra loaf of rye when I picked up pastries this afternoon. He knows you're here, and he knows what you like."

She groaned and put her head in her hand, rotated to look at him. "I shouldn't have hired that woman to clean-"

"What else were we going to do?"

She chewed on her bottom lip. "Yeah. This place is huge, Castle."

"It is a huge castle."

She smirked at him for the lame humor, and he was glad to see it had done its job. She looked better already, not so pale, not so worn out. The worry was doing it to her, he knew that.

"Reese gets to learn French," she said suddenly, turning her head to look at the baby. "It will be good."

"You'll be able to get out, both of you. Shop, go to parks, eat at cafes. The beautiful life."

She shook her head at him, but her smile was soft. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me. Jeez. That's like thanking me for being selfish-"

"You bought everything under your old name, Mr. Rodgers." She smiled at him, but stroked Reese's fist. The girl's fingers splayed against the bottle in response. "It helps. Harder to track you down that way."

"Yeah, I'm just sorry it didn't occur to me earlier. But Kate, I'll come back here from time to time, just so no one will think to look for me in France. But you and Reese. . .It will be good."

She turned her eyes to him, soft and gentle, loving. "It _was_ good, Castle. It was good here. I don't want you to think that I felt trapped or isolated-"

"But you were," he started restlessly. She shook her head at him.

"We had two good years here. I wasn't up for much. It was all recovery that first year, and then this little thing the second. I couldn't have gotten out, couldn't have made it through town. This place was exactly what I needed. My very own castle."

Maybe it was the way she looked at him, maybe it was the sound of the baby sucking on her bottle, maybe it was the words she used, but she reassured his heart. The burden of not being enough, not doing enough - it seemed to lighten and melt away.

"But it's time," she added quietly. "It's time to move on."

He realized she meant him - that _he_ needed to move on, stop worrying over her, stop being so frantic when he couldn't immediately find her, stop hovering over their daughter like she'd disappear. He knew that. He really did.

"Paris will be good for us, Castle."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, Reese popped her mouth off the bottle and burped at them. Kate laughed, showering that bright and beautiful sound around the room as she turned to their daughter.

"Someone's full, huh?"

Castle took the bottle away, his arm aching from the strange angle, and sat there just a moment more, watching Kate stand up, leaning in over the baby, hair falling forward, even as short as it was. Reese lifted both arms for her mother, fingers grasping, their eyes locked on each other.

Kate turned her mouth to the little palm, kissing it with an exaggerated smack, and then reached down to unbuckle her from the seat.

Castle stood as she lifted the girl out, gritting his teeth to keep from swooping in, to stop himself from asking if she could handle it, if she needed help.

Kate's eyes met his as she stood, the baby against her chest, and she raised an eyebrow, daring him.

He didn't do it; he put his hands behind his back and let her walk away with the baby, headed for the wide chair under the windows.

He followed, of course he did, but he let her do it alone.

Versailles would be different. It would be better, because _she_ was better.

And Reese would flourish there.

Kate turned her head towards him, gestured for him to sit with them. He smiled at her and hurried to the chair, opened his arms for her. Kate sat close, the baby lifting her head to look at him, and Castle circled them in a loose embrace.

"You can do it," Kate murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. "We both can."

Castle leaned in and kissed her back, mouth pushing deep with a promise. He wouldn't imprison her either, not any more. He would learn to let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Redux**

* * *

Reese did it again and he laughed out loud. "Kate! Hey, Kate. Come here."

He heard her in the bathroom of their hotel room, the door opening, the rush of water. He stroked a finger down Reese's back as she lay on the king-sized bed.

"Hey, Peanut Butter Cup. You're so strong. Can you do it again when Mommy gets in here?"

The water shut off. "Coming," she said, a little breathless.

"Watch this," he said, glancing over his shoulder to see Kate as she slowly made her way to them. He slid his finger under Reese's chin, barely tickling her, and she lifted up again, a little mini-push-up, eyes wide and startled, that grin on her face as she gurgled in laughter.

Kate breathed out a chuckle and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Jeez, that's adorable. No wonder."

"No wonder what?" he asked, doing it again just so he can see that jerk of movement, his baby's blinking eyes and happy face.

"No wonder she's got you wrapped around her finger. You should totally be used to cute little girls, but she's still got you. And I see why now. She really is just so adorable. Aren't you?"

Kate laid down onto the bed next to Reese, her head on the crook of her elbow as she drifted her fingers through the baby's dark hair. Reese still had that indeterminate gender look of most two month olds, and Kate didn't help anything by dressing her in indeterminate gender clothes. Still, yeah, wow, she was adorable.

A white onesie, little red socks, those dark eyes staring back at them. Reese cracked another grin, pushed up on her hands, and then tried to stick her fist in her mouth, toppling herself off-balance and into the bedspread.

But Kate caught her.

He sank to his knees beside the bed, stunned and stupidly grateful. Kate had caught her. A hand under Reese's armpit to hold her up until the girl could get both fists under herself again, and then the baby was dropping her head, exhausted, once more. But. But Kate had grabbed her.

He hadn't seen her move so quickly in. . .forever. Since before.

Castle kept his mouth shut. Watched his wife nuzzle their daughter and laugh, the little hand hitting her cheek, the tiny fingers in her mouth, and he said nothing.

Too much to hope for, right now.

* * *

He woke before she did. To be honest, he was nervous about the next few day's train travel, and so when Reese made those spit-bubbles that meant she was hungry, Castle was already halfway there.

He rolled carefully to the side and out of bed, walked around the foot in the relative darkness, and found the bassinet. A baby fist raked the crib sheet; Reese had turned over on her stomach again in the night.

Castle picked her up slowly, cradling her head to his chest, and brushed his lips against her skin. She mouthed his shirt, his collarbone, baby gums harder - every time - than he expected.

He walked out of their bedroom and into the sitting room; it wasn't like they were traveling luxuriously, but she'd suggested the suite so that one of them, at least, would be sure to get some sleep tonight, feed the baby without having to worry about waking the other one up.

Since they'd taken a car from Sochi to Moscow, they were all a little cranky this evening. Castle was glad to let Kate sleep; she needed it more, especially since they had another thirty hours or more on the train starting tomorrow.

Reese gnawed on him madly and he winced; she was strong, and vicious when she was hungry. He opened up the diaper bag, pulled out a bottle, popped the top off one-handed. Reese was making those noises against him now, mewling.

"Okay, okay, peanut butter. I got you. Just give me a second."

He pried the lid off the formula and eyeballed the measurement, dumped it into the bottle. The sink was over next to the mini-fridge; he turned it on with his elbow and filled the bottle. The cap went on; he shook it a few times, smelling that powdery-milk and vitamins smell of the formula, and by then Reese was lunging for it across his body.

He swayed back, keeping her balanced in his arms, and then popped the bottle in her mouth. She sucked furiously at it, blinking her eyes up at him, dark pools of relief.

"Why didn't you wake me sooner? You're starving, crazy girl."

He rocked her back against his chest and sat down on the couch, propping her against his elbow so she could feed. Jeez, she was so strong. Her fists beat against the bottle, trying to grasp it, trying to control it-

_Kate._

Wouldn't that be _wonderful_, having a little miniature Kate to butt heads with and fight over stupid stuff and insist that he has no idea what he's doing?

Wonderful, he thought, and leaned over to kiss his daughter's forehead, so miserably proud of how strong she was, how intent and demanding when she wanted something, insistent, and yet how happy and smiling and easy she was when all was right.

Her furious sucking slacked off a little, but her eyes were still on him, watching, studying, and he felt his chest expand as he looked back at her, and suddenly he _knew her_, knew her, Reese, his daughter; he could see how, at this moment, she was showing herself to him, communing with him in the dark Russian night.

_Hi, Daddy._

"Hey, Reese. Hey there. Hey, peanut. Wow. Oh wow. Reese."

He swiped at his cheeks, laughing as he did so, but he wasn't crying, at least there was that. She was still looking up at him, as if in gratitude for the feeding or the moment, one of the two, and she smacked her little fists against the bottle and managed to catch the edge of his finger.

She stopped kicking, stopped moving but for her mouth, rested there, hand perched precariously over the nail of his ring finger, and Castle stopped breathing to keep it all perfectly in place.

And then the moment broke and she was pushing her heels into his ribs and bouncing a little, wanting to play, her lips falling from the bottle as she grinned at him, and he had to be the good parent and tease her mouth with the bottle, hoping she'd take more, then take it away when she didn't, and stand up, and head back to the bassinet.

"Time to sleep," he murmured to her, patting her back to burp her because he couldn't quite believe that these new bottles were supposed to eliminate gas.

She kicked her feet, wriggled against his chest, but he was firm, he was good; he put her down, stroking his finger over her cheek.

She nuzzled, just like she always did (_that's just an instinctive response that all babies are born with, Castle)_, but so what?, she was nuzzling him, and her mouth opened on a little sigh and her eyes dropped shut.

Worked every time. Put her right to sleep.

He crawled back into bed and Kate shifted, so easily woken now, but her eyes were closed as she too nuzzled into him, her mouth closed (unlike her daughter), and her body seeking his even as she drifted back to sleep.

"Sleep, Kate," he breathed out, and felt himself joining her.

* * *

"Rick. Don't make us late for the train," Kate said, nudging at his shoulder. He groaned and turned over, burrowing into the pillows, ignoring her. She glanced to the bassinet, but Reese was still asleep as well. "Rick."

She pulled her wet hair back off her neck as she studied him, created a tight bun. It would make her hair kinky, but they really didn't have time for her to straighten it and go through the whole thing.

"Rick."

She sighed, circled the bed and peered in at the baby, on her stomach again. According to the milestone markers, Reese shouldn't be able to flip over yet, but she did. All the time. Kate took a moment to stroke her fingers over the baby's back, and then turned to the bed.

"Rick," she said sharply.

He jerked. "Five more minutes, Kate."

"No. We have to catch the train. We can't attract attention to ourse-"

That's all it took for his guilt to flare and push him out of bed; he stumbled, knocked a knee into the bedside table, cursed as he glared at her. She wouldn't apologize for it.

"I tried to wake you," she murmured, lifting an eyebrow back. "I even promised fun shower sex, but you buried yourself back-"

"I did _not_," he gasped, glaring harder.

"You did."

"For such blatant lies, you should be forced to shower with me now."

"We only have an hour and Reese-"

"Is still asleep and will sleep for another two hours at least." He wriggled his eyebrows and made a slow circuit towards her. "I fed her right around four this morning and she's good for a while."

She frowned. "She was sleeping through the night just a week ago-"

"Sex, Kate. Shower sex. Don't get distracted." He palmed her ass and brought her in close, always a little rough and sloppy in the morning.

And she liked it.

A lot.

Not yet awake enough for the restraints of the civilized man to hold him back from her, Castle would take a kiss from her mouth and use his teeth, bend her body to fit his shape.

Not yet fully awake, he'd finally stop being so damn careful with her.

"Okay," she said, excitement flaring in her stomach, her breath skirting the side of his face. "Shower. But do it quick-"

"Yes," he crowed, half dragging her off her feet as he tried to guide them towards the hotel room's massive shower. "Yes, yes, yes. Oh, Kate, I love you."

She laughed at that, but it still made her chest tighten because she knew - she knew just how wide and deep and uncompromising his love for her was.

And she knew that at some point during their shower, she'd have to sit down. And that would kill him.

* * *

"I can carry her," Kate growled at him.

He raised both hands in surrender and backed off, said nothing more as he finished shoving the last of the baby stuff into the suitcase. But he did watch her out of the corner of his eye as she laid the sling across her shoulder and then carefully picked up Reese.

Her arms didn't tremble, that was good. Two bright spots of color had appeared on her cheeks, but that could be either exertion or shame. She hated arguing with him about how much she could physically do, he knew she hated the fighting, but-

He felt damn guilty about it, and that wouldn't change any time soon. So it made him hover and yes, he was trying to be good, he was, and that's why he was over here next to the bed shoving the travel bassinet back into its carrying case even though he absolutely never could figure out how this damn thing worked.

He felt her fingers at his shoulder and looked up from where he was kneeling on the floor. She was biting her bottom lip.

"Collapse that end over there first," she murmured, nodding with her chin, her other arm curled along the sling and cradling Reese.

He turned back to the bassinet and saw what she was talking about, collapsed the right end, then the left, managed to fold the arm-things up, then the inside collapsed as well and it was done.

He yanked the carrying bag over to him and shoved it inside, then stood up. Kate was watching him with her heart in her eyes.

Shit.

He snaked his hand around her neck and tugged her lightly forward, kissed her forehead hard, then softly on her mouth, apologizing back.

She curled her other hand in his shirt and then smoothed down the material, her eyes lifting to look at him. They closed for just an instant, a brief shuttering of her emotions, and then opened once more and she was back in control.

"This is what I can do, Castle. This one thing. The luggage is too much for me, and I know you know that. But I can carry our daughter for the next few hours. So let me do that while I can, before even that is too much."

He nodded, eyes burning with it, trying to hold it back, and couldn't look at her.

She turned and headed for the sitting room, scooping the key cards off the dresser as she moved. "Let's check out, Castle."

Yeah. Yeah, soon as he could put himself back together.


	3. Chapter 3

The train from Moscow to Paris would take something like thirty-six hours, but it was Kate's idea. She wanted to see the countryside, wanted to have the freedom to move around, wanted to be able to get off if something happened - make a new plan.

But, of course, it was Castle whose face lit up the moment they arrived at the station. The place was magnificent, gorgeous architecture, and Kate couldn't help but watch him take it all in.

If Reese were older, she knew he'd be taking her by the hand and showing her all of it.

And for that, Kate slipped her hand into his and leaned against his arm, pressing her body to his. Castle glanced back at her and his eyes were crinkled in a smile.

"Hey. Wanna go do your thing?" he murmured.

She lifted on her toes and kissed him, then left him there as she went to claim their tickets. They'd left it until last minute, just to keep from being easily tracked. Not that anyone was after them, not that people even cared where Richard and Kate Rodgers were traveling, but they were being cautious.

She swiped his card at the kiosk, but it was in English and Russian both, so he could've done it himself. She had their tickets printed out, a hand under Reese in the sling as she waited. The kiosk buzzed at her and she took the barcoded stubs, then ended the transaction and headed back for Castle.

He was squinting at a plaque, as if trying to read it (Russian, of course), but he turned at her footfall despite the echoing, clamorous noise of the terminal.

"Got 'em?"

"Got 'em," she said, smiling back. She curled her hand into the sling as Reese squirmed, pressed her palm to the side of the baby's face, felt her smiling too.

Kate glanced down and Reese was staring up at her, grinning and chewing on her tongue.

"Hey, there," she murmured, stroking the soft skin.

Castle was turning Kate around, heading them for their departure track, and she let him lead as she soothed the baby. A little fist came up and hit her wrist, fingers splaying as if to grab on.

A tug on her arm had her looking up and Castle motioned to the walkway alongside the track. "We can check the baby seat-"

"No," she said. "We're in the sleeper car, aren't we?" She pulled their tickets out of her back pocket. "Yeah. Sleeper. I want to keep the seat with me."

He shrugged and hoisted it a little higher, pulling their suitcase behind him. The baby's bag was over that same shoulder, the travel bassinet in its case and lashed to the suitcase. A lot of stuff, and she felt bad that he had to carry it all, but there was no way she could help. Not without hurting someone. Herself or Reese - or even him.

"But the other stuff can go. I don't love the idea of Reese sleeping in the baby seat but it is safer."

As they walked alongside the blue and white train, Kate watched for the signs that would indicate their section. She stopped Castle with a hand and then nodded toward the stairs. The attendant was an older woman in uniform, her shirt-sleeves rolled up to her elbows. She looked at their tickets and took their luggage, then led them to their car.

It had a sliding door, a little table that folded down, and two wide seats that converted into berths. It wasn't as crowded as Kate had feared, but it wasn't the Orient Express either. (Much to Castle's dismay, the original Orient Express had ceased operation in 2009; the Venice-Simplon Orient Express just didn't travel their route.)

Kate listened to the attendant give her the rundown of the car's layout - the private bathroom available only to first class passengers, the deluxe food car, and the cabin steward that would be available for help. The steward would also show them how to convert the seats into beds whenever they needed it. Then the attendant left them alone, sliding the door shut behind her.

Castle grinned at Kate. "Is it just me or is this very James Bond?"

"I don't think Bond would've been caught dead with a baby," Kate said, smirking at him, swaying a little as a wave of weariness suddenly swamped her.

Castle must have seen it in her face because, even though he said nothing, he quickly went about stowing away their stuff, getting things settled. Not just the baby seat, but also the carryon bag with a few changes of clothes, her cosmetics, and his ipad. Castle made Kate sit down while he arranged everything, and in the end, they sat together on one wide seat, comfortable enough, with the baby in her lap.

"You okay?" he said softly, and just that it was in English was strange to her ears after all this time.

Even though Castle spoke not a bit of Russian, even though they never spoke Russian together, Kate had spent nearly two years making polite conversation or asking directions in this language. Their day spent in Moscow before getting up to board the train this morning had only reinforced it.

Kate reached out and stroked his cheek. "I'm good. Strange to think in a few days we'll be in Versailles when we've been immersed in Russian culture for so long now."

"At least I'll be able to understand some of what's going on."

She smiled, wondered again why he had steadfastly refused to learn the language. He wasn't terrible - he knew phrases and some key words - but he just didn't try.

And right then, it hit her.

He'd wanted to give her something that she was better at than him, some way in which he would need her. He'd been trying to restore the balance to their relationship.

Kate's heart contracted hard and she closed her eyes to battle back emotion. After a moment of feeling his concerned gaze on her, she reached up blindly and kissed him, scraping his bottom lip with her teeth.

He curled his hand at her neck and held her there, just a second longer. When she parted from him, she kept her mouth against his, breathing hotly, before she pulled away.

"Help me get Reese out of the baby sling," she murmured, trying, somehow, to give him back the last two years in that one gesture.

But she knew that nothing she did could ever be enough.

* * *

Kate sat on the bench seat, eyes opened to watch her daughter grin with every shimmy and lurch of the train. Reese was on her stomach between them, scooting around while Castle played some game on his ipad.

Reese batted at the soft ladybug toy, looking so pleased as it rolled closer. Her mouth came down to gnaw on it, and Kate tugged it away, making Reese work for it again. The girl grunted and came after it, legs kicking, and then tipped forward, headed over the edge.

Kate caught her with both hands, heart pounding hard, and propped her up again, but Reese laid her head against the seat cushion, blinking as she rested for a moment. So strong. The girl was so strong and smart. And she'd nearly nose-dived right off the train seat. "Hey, sweetheart. Wearing me out, aren't you?"

Reese chewed on her fist, then got her knees up under her and nudged into the ladybug, grinned at her mother, so pleased. So strong and determined and - and happy. Her little girl was happy.

Kate smiled to herself and briefly closed her eyes, let the motion of the train work its way into her muscles, down into her bones, past the physical aches and the mental ones.

She was tired; she was always tired. That was just how it went.

There were just some things she couldn't do, but she kept trying, she worked at it. Like Reese, she had to build her stamina and endurance, flex her muscles, as often as she could, and then rest when she hit a wall.

It might come back with time.

It _would_ come back with time.

A hand on her cheek made her eyes fly open; Castle had lifted his fingers to brush down the side of her face, not even looking at her, his palm cupping her jaw. She realized she'd leaned against his shoulder somewhere along the way, that - as usual - he was holding her up, the baby wedged between them, safe.

This was her life. This was what she had.

And it was a lot. It was - everything.

She turned her mouth to his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his shirt, to the warm skin she could feel under it. His fingers flexed in her hair.

"Love you, Castle."

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, but he didn't stop playing his game.

It was just that common. And she was glad for that.

She would be better; it would get better.

She closed her eyes, determined not to think about it, then changed her mind, opened them again, and watched her daughter play.

* * *

After only an hour, she needed to lie down. Her heart fluttered in her chest and her arms were dropping away from Reese. She turned to Castle, messing with his ipad but now sitting on the other bench seat.

"Rick."

He didn't glance up at first, kept swiping his finger over the tablet.

"Castle."

His head jerked up, blinking as he focused on her. In an instant, he was up and at her side, a hand at Reese's head, the other at the back of Kate's neck.

"I'm okay," she said, giving him a smile. "Will you take her?"

"Of course," he murmured, sliding a hand under hers and cradling the baby, pulling Reese out and against his chest. "I got her. What do you need?"

"Just lie down, just need to lie down," she said, already curling her feet up onto the bench.

Castle put his hand at Kate's neck to keep her steady, lowered her to the seat; she couldn't keep her eyes open. "You okay?"

"Sit with me."

"Yeah, yeah," he said, and even though she was halfway asleep, her body betraying her once more, as usual, she felt him slide her head into his lap. Reese kicked her feet out at Kate and she smiled, lifted a hand to stroke the baby's foot.

Her fingers fell away in the next moment, and she closed her eyes again.

"Sleep, Kate."

* * *

He kept one hand splayed at Reese's belly, the girl sitting on his thigh and trying to eat her fist, smiling around it. The ipad was propped up on the table and with some kind of video playing that was keeping her entranced.

Kate was halfway asleep on his other thigh, a hand curled along his jeans, her mouth open and drooling. Worse than Reese. Well, not quite. Almost.

He layered his fingers through her hair, around her forehead, along her nose. She murmured and her mouth closed, a great sigh sinking from her lips. He curled his hand at her ear, stroking back her hair from her neck.

She was awake in a moment, blinking, but she didn't move to sit up.

"You good?"

She nodded. "Tired."

"Stay."

"Think I will," she laughed, but craned her neck to look at Reese. The baby reached out for her, fingers splayed and wet, but Castle kept a firm grip on her. "Let her come."

Castle released the girl and Reese leaned over, her body curling around Kate's face as she laughed. He helped control the kid's descent and then Kate was wrapping her arms around Reese and snuggling with her.

He didn't know how she did it, but Reese wriggled right down into her chest, the two of them inseparable, faces close and communing in some way that Castle wasn't allowed inside.

That was perfectly fine. He didn't need it; the two of them were here in his arms and they were his. They were alive. Despite everything, Kate was alive and the baby was healthy and strong and so clever-

"Mm, Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"If I fall asleep, don't let her fall."

He laughed and squeezed her shoulder, readjusted his body so that he was angled against the seat. "Why would I let her fall?"

"Just making sure."

"Want me to put the bed down, Kate?"

"Oh. . .that would be good." She was placing soft little kisses against Reese's cheeks, making the girl giggle, so Castle carefully eased her off his thigh and headed for the other berth, flipping it down expertly.

Kate laughed. "Wow. Look at that."

"I researched it. Online before we left."

She was watching him from the seat, Reese playing at something, probably her mother's hair, and Castle flipped the cushions over and made the sheets up.

"Okay, ready for ya." He maneuvered around the table, leaned over and slid an arm under her shoulders, pulled her upright. "Can you-"

"I got it," she said. "Take her though."

He scooped Reese out of her arms in a moment, surprising her because he could feel her fingers clench around the baby out of instinct, stronger than he'd ever felt before. She used the tabletop to leverage herself up, conserving energy, and when she stood, she was close, so very close, that her breath fanned his cheek. The back of his hand brushed her chest.

"Trying to feel me up," she murmured with a little smile.

"Man, you're feisty this morning." He carefully danced with her so she could get past him to the fold down berth, Reese squirming against his chest, but the feel of Kate burning through him.

"Saving it up," she said in response.

He laughed at that and palmed Reese's head, kissed the baby's temple just as Kate slumped down to the bed. He held back the automatic response, bit his lip to keep from asking if she was okay. She shot him a look, like she knew anyway, and he shrugged at her, heading for her side with the baby restless against him.

Kate scooted to the edge of the berth, her back against the wood and held out her arms for Reese. He lowered the baby to her and the girl clung to her mother once more, getting her knees up on Kate's chest and bouncing.

Castle reached in to ease the girl's weight but Kate waved him off with a huff of breath, laughing even as the air escaped her lungs.

"Kate-"

"Good - all good," she said, sucking in a breath. He sank down beside her, concerned, but she was still laughing at Reese, stroking the girl's back with both hands. "Come cuddle with us, Castle."

He laughed finally, and pulled his legs up into the bed, toeing off his shoes, hearing them clump to the floor. Then he reached down for his wife and daughter, wrapped his arms around them.

Between her parents, Reese wriggled and tried to push with her feet, getting comfortable. Castle stroked a few fingers down her cheek and her head dropped to the bed, her eyes closing.

"Someone else is tired too," he murmured.

Kate hummed; he felt her knee slide between his, her fingers at his neck. "I could nap again," she said finally.

He laughed at that too, leaned in to dart a kiss to her forehead. "I could too, actually. Naptime for the whole family."

Even as she laughed at that, she was falling asleep on him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

She'd been four months pregnant when she realized she hadn't the energy or the stamina to survive much longer. She'd been frustrated by her body's rebellion, of course she had, but this new failure felt insurmountable and horrifying.

The moment she'd spotted, the moment she'd found blood, Kate Beckett - a non-entity anyway - crawled right back into bed and stayed there, just as the wizened old doctor had told her to, barely daring to move, let alone force her body into fitness and health.

It'd actually done her a world of good. The pre-natal vitamins, the uninterrupted rest, the huge meals that their cook, Kostya, had made - everything about bedrest had forced Kate Beckett to slow down and let herself heal as much as she could.

The doctor had lifted the ban on movement when she was seven months, and Kate had, yes, of course, gone back to walking the grounds daily, as Kostya called it - _taking the air_, and in general tried to rebuild some of her endurance. But she did it slowly, and she listened to her body this time, and she most especially listened to the baby, who was already strong and knowledgeable about her mother's abilities.

Castle had rented a place near Sochi for that final month; she wanted to be nearer to a hospital, and their time there had felt intimate and narrow-focused, like it was only just the two of them in existence, and she couldn't tell which two she meant - she and Castle or she and the unborn baby.

But when Reese had come-

Oh.

When Reese had come.

* * *

Castle waited until her eyes fluttered open, then smiled at her, felt that bright and shiny joy when Reese smiled back.

"Hey, peanut," he whispered and brought his finger out to stroke along the baby's forehead. "Mommy's awake too. You wanna go see what's for lunch?"

Kate shifted on the pullout bed, lifted up on one elbow to watch Reese wake. Castle couldn't stop from touching her, the tiny fingers curled around her wisp of a blanket, the roll of pale skin at her bent elbow, the thin neck with the fine dark hair.

Reese's head came up, eyes blinking owlishly in the light streaming in through their windows, the train's movement making her sway. Castle gently scooped her up, laid her against his chest. "Hey, sweetheart. You ready?"

"Is she wet?" Kate asked, getting to her feet faster than he expected - smoother maybe, with more of her old grace. It made his chest tight to see it.

"No," he answered, adept at the signs again after twenty years without a baby. He smiled down at Reese who was nuzzling her face into his chest, her fists crunching in his shirt.

"Good," Kate murmured. "She doesn't seem hungry either."

"You want to feed her when we're done?"

"Yeah. She might not want it, but she needs to be on our schedule."

He followed Kate out of their berth; she opened the door to the narrow hallway and he closed it after them; it locked, and he panicked for a second, but Kate flashed the keycard at him.

"Ah, smart woman."

She grinned, the sway of the train jostling her into him, and she caught herself against his shoulder, came the rest of the way to seal a kiss against his mouth, heat in it.

"That's why you married me," she said easily, and turned with that same effortless grace towards the dining car.

No. It wasn't why he'd married her, but it was why he'd _wanted_ to marry her. That and everything else about her - the beauty, the intelligence, the fierceness, the fire.

He watched her walk ahead of them, Reese balanced in his arms, his hand protecting her head, and marveled again at how adroit Kate could be these days.

He was beginning to believe she might-

she might-

He couldn't even think the words in his head, just in case.

* * *

The dining car was empty when they slipped inside, the noise of the train muted. Outside the sunlight was dampened by thickening grey clouds, the day cast in bleaker tones than he'd have imagined.

Kate was already striding to the back; she rested against the counter, studying the menu posted there. Castle came up behind her, felt the warmth of her body in the enclosed space, her hip aligned with his, and he lowered a hand to her waist, brushed her lower back just because he could. Because she fit against him, because she'd stepped out of their berth and walked down the hall without once faltering.

And she wasn't even breathless now.

Her hand reached back for his, fingers lacing with his own, and she tugged. "How about this?" she murmured, pointing at the menu.

"Kate," he laughed, giving her a look.

She smiled back, a tinge of red on her cheeks. "Fish, lemon butter sauce. Fresh greens - I think probably green beans in this case, and those potato things you like," she translated quickly.

"Yeah. Sounds good." He twitched his thumb in her hand and she released him; Castle moved to a table and slid into the seat, Reese picking her head up and looking out the window.

He watched Kate order from the man behind the counter, her fluid and effortless way with the language amazing him all over again, and then she was heading for them with that pleased smile on her face.

He loved that, how assertive she looked in this moment, how she seemed to regain some of that natural Beckett aura again when she could do this for him, take charge, speak the language, get things done.

She sank down in the seat across from him and he felt her feet slide between his; she leaned forward a little and put her elbows on the table, looking at Reese first, then lifting her eyes to meet his.

"Hey," he murmured.

"Ordered," she said. "And I got dessert."

"Ooh, what is it?"

"Surprise," she said, smirking at him.

"I love your surprises," he said back, lifting an eyebrow in that way she always found so ridiculous. And yeah, there it was, a roll of her eyes like none of the last three years had happened, like they were back in Remy's and he was trying to steal her strawberry milkshake.

And even though her eyes rolled, she was giving him this tender look with it too, and her hand snaked across the table to wrap around his bicep, her thumb stroking and soft.

"Like this one?" she murmured, and he followed her eyes down to Reese.

His heart flipped; the baby was sitting up against his chest, her head lifting from time to time as something out the window flashed past and caught her attention. Her eyes were riveted; her mouth open in wonder.

Castle felt the same.

"What a surprise," he said back, and lifted his head to look at Kate. She was still caressing their daughter with her gaze, something so fierce and powerful in her face that it took his breath away.

A look that said the last three years had happened, they had happened and no one was going to take them away from her. Because this was where she'd ended up, where _they_ had ended up, right here. And it was made all the sweeter for the way they'd had to battle for it.

He dropped a kiss to the top of Reese's head, curled his body around her with his eyes squeezed shut, needing a moment. But the girl squirmed and batted her hand at his chin, forcing him up and away. Castle opened his eyes to see her body arch against him, straining for the window.

Kate was laughing, low and easy, and that was good too.

He lifted Reese to stand on his thighs, sort of stand, and her feet kicked and her body bounced as she lunged for the sights flashing by outside.

Her hands hit the glass and she pressed her cheek to the window, mouth open, eyes pinned to the cloudy sky and the strung out path of the power lines, the skipping brown patches of grass along the undulating landscape.

"Look at how much she wants it," Kate said, her eyes meeting his over their daughter. "Look at how much she loves it out there."

He grinned back at her, his heart lifting, so much lighter at the return of this strong, intense Kate - the one who fought for them and didn't just endure.

"Yeah," he said, sounding inane even to himself. "She goes for it. Just like her mother."

* * *

Kate watched the as the sunlight burned away the clouds in the sky, watched the countryside as they moved farther and farther from Moscow, from all that her life had encompassed. Castle had given Reese back to her and the baby bounced in her lap with her little fists against the glass, fascinated by the way the world rushed past them, not quite able to stand, but so close.

"This is so good," Castle moaned.

Kate glanced to him and laughed when she saw he'd drawn her piece of chocolate tart to his side, his fork breaking through the crust. He had a drizzle of wild strawberry sauce on his chin and she laughed harder, one arm curling tighter around Reese as Kate reached out with her thumb across the table.

He lifted his head in bewilderment, probably because it'd been a long time since she'd laughed this hard - a long time since she'd had the energy to sustain it too - and that strawberry sauce was gleaming.

Kate swiped her thumb along his chin and brought it to her mouth unthinkingly, licked the sauce only to have Castle's eyes darken dangerously.

She knew that look.

"Castle," she rasped back, because she wanted him, fiercely wanted him, hadn't stopped, couldn't stop wanting him. Maybe it'd be diagnosed as post-partum hormones, but she thought, instead, that it was the too-careful way he'd held himself back from her, she thought it was the long drought they'd both gone through to get here.

He felt guilty, and ashamed, and it made him too careful.

Well, of course, there'd been that one time she'd fallen asleep and he-

Okay, so she hadn't been up for it all the time, but now? Now she needed him.

"Is there a lock on our berth?" she asked quietly, her eyes not leaving his, her thumb popping out of her lips and her hand coming to tangle with his.

He sucked in a long breath, like he was trying to get control of himself. "But this morning-"

"I've eaten _and_ napped since then," she murmured. "I'll feed Reese and put her in the baby carrier and-"

"She'll sleep," he breathed out, and he was already jerking up from the table, leaving the last of her chocolate tart uneaten. He reached over her for Reese and scooped the baby out of her arms, and Kate liked it now. Let him use all that chivalry for when it mattered, for when she needed to conserve her strength for _this_.

Yes.

* * *

He watched her cradle their daughter at her chest, Reese's hands curled around Kate's forearm as her mother gave her the bottle. Castle watched the way Kate sank into the seat, her own eyes growing heavy as she felt the baby slowly still. How beautiful Kate was. And stronger now than before - stronger for what they'd gone through and survived, even if her body still struggled.

She was not what he'd ever expected, and he loved her.

He wanted her. He needed the feel of her body, craved it. Too long. It'd been too long, and even though she'd chased after him into the shower this morning, when she'd had to sit down on the barely-warm tiles in the corner, her head tilted back so that the spray kept her conscious (did she think she could hide that from him?), he'd felt sick.

He'd never meant for it to be like this-

But how could he have done it any differently? He couldn't.

There'd been no other choice.

Her eyes were on him, suddenly, and she smiled sadly. "Don't."

"Don't?"

"Don't regret it."

He opened his mouth, closed it.

"Castle."

"I don't."

"You do," she sighed, and when he met her eyes, she looked about as far away from aroused as she could get.

She looked sad. And he hated that too. Because of him, what he'd done to her-

"Regretting it means regretting getting me out, regretting our hideout in a Russian castle, regretting-"

"I regret this," he grunted, waving at what was between them. Still between them. The way her body couldn't keep up any longer, the way she labored for breath, the way-

"I don't," she said suddenly, and he heard steel in her voice that snapped his head up. She looked furious.

"Kate-"

"I will gladly be out of breath and damn-near disabled if it means I have this. You and her. You and her, Castle. It is _worth it_-"

"I'm sorry," he blurted out, cracking his knees against the train floor as he came to her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Yes, but for what? For what part? Because if you're sorry for saving my life, for giving me _this_ one, this gorgeous, _free_ life, then I can't forgive you for that. I will never forgive you for that."

He buried his head in her lap, pressing his eye sockets into Kate's knees, his palms bracketing her hips, trying to breathe without gasping on it.

And then he felt Reese at the back of his neck, the weight of her body resting against him even as Kate's fingers stroked through his hair, juggling him and the baby both.

Both.

He raised his head and saw the tears shining in her eyes, the ones she wouldn't spill but felt all the same, and he knew they were for him, and not for herself.

For him.

He lifted up and pressed his mouth to hers, open, urgent, and felt her grunt and clutch at him, the baby squirming between them.

Castle pulled back slowly, a hand coming down to cradle Reese's head; the bottle was empty, the girl was watching them, eyes heavy, a little fist moving as if to keep herself awake.

Kate nudged him with her knee and he slowly took the baby from her lap, cradled Reese against his chest to brush his mouth over her forehead. "Hey, peanut butter cup. Time for a nap."

Kate's fingers trailed at his back as he turned in the cramped space, placed Reese in her carrier gently. Her head angled off into sleep the moment she touched the rounded shape of the seat, and Castle snapped the belt into place. Reese's mouth was open and a formula-tinted drool stained the straps already.

He laughed softly and turned to look at Kate, sharing the moment, and she hastily swiped at her eyes, pushed on his knee with her foot. He captured her ankle with his fingers and slid his thumb up her shinbone, leaned in to press his lips to her knee, wetting the material of her jeans with his tongue.

She hissed sharply and he could feel her body jerk in response.

He smiled and raised his head, watching her shudder, so responsive, so little it took these days to make her come apart.

Her hand came to cheek, cradled it, her lashes fluttered a moment before she could look at him.

"Come up here with me."

"No," he said and stood as best he could in the tight space. He leaned over and tugged her up into him, smiled darkly as she was pressed flat to his chest, her breath panting. "We have a bed for this, and we're going to use it."

"Oh, even better," she murmured at his neck, and her teeth were there, her tongue, and he stumbled back, tripping against the fold-down table, collapsing heavily against the bed.

She laughed, the vibrating delight coursing through his skin and into his ribs, rattling around in his heart. He twisted and pulled her on top of him, lifted his head to seal her mouth, stifling her laughter.

She jerked back from him, truly breathless this time, her eyes wide and wanting as she stared down at him.

He ignored the sucking gasp of her lungs, ignored it, ignored it, _this was how it was now,_ and he instead attacked the tender skin at the base of her throat, felt her hitch and moan against him, her head falling forward and cutting off his advance.

Castle flipped them, rooted at her neck, nuzzled the soft skin of her chest, his hands sliding up her back, thumbs skirting her sides until he laid a gentler kiss at her mouth, sipping, tasting, offering her his breath instead.

He could feel the wild pound of her heart and he knew it was him. It was only him.

Not the breathlessness, not the exhaustion, just him.

"I love you, I love you," she murmured into the darkness at his ear, his jaw. "Love me back."

So he did. As he always would.


	5. Chapter 5

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

"Stay," he told her afterwards and she let him think it was his idea. But she wasn't sure she could move from the bed.

He sat up and yanked the sheets over her, his hand heavy on her arm as he tucked her in. She rolled her eyes at him but gestured for him to lay down with her, to _stay_ as well.

He came back to her side, sliding in close so that their noses touched.

"Too close," she laughed at him, but her eyes were too heavy to stay open. She felt his mouth caress her cheek, felt him raise up beside her and press a litany of kisses down her neck, across her shoulder, along her arm. She flexed her fingers and scraped at his stubble as he roamed, smiled to herself to feel it.

"Love you, Kate," he murmured at her ear, another kiss at the corner of her mouth. She struggled to wake, opened her eyes to him.

"Even though you've proved it, again and again," she said quietly, shifting her hand now to lay at his chest. "It's still so wonderful to hear."

He grinned at that, his smile infectious, dark, beautiful, and she smiled back, rooted closer to him so she could lay her head at his shoulder. He gathered her up, a palm sliding up and down her back.

"Rest, Kate."

She would have to, after that. But it was worth it.

* * *

She'd been heart-broken when her milk wouldn't come in again. Four days of nursing her strong little girl and then nothing, dried up. She'd struggled to keep the grief from showing, smiled at Castle when he went a little crazy over formula and had Alexis ship it in from the states because he said he just couldn't be sure.

He'd gotten over it when Kate had pointed out that shipments of formula weren't exactly laying low, even if they did come through his daughter. So instead he had trekked into Moscow to buy the expensive brand that their tiny town hadn't carried.

It still hurt when Reese rooted into her breast for milk and Kate had to paint her bowed lips with the bottle's nipple instead, tease the baby until she latched on to it. It hurt like a wound that kept reopening.

She had envisioned these wonderful, beautiful moments between herself and her newborn, the two of them alone in the dark nursery, the baby dropping off into sleep even as she nursed. She'd had to erase them from her mind, replace them with bottle feedings and the slick feel of plastic, but somehow, some way, Reese had more than compensated for that lost bond.

Two months old and the baby knew her, could smell her when she entered the room, could stare back into her mother's eyes as if caught. Devotion, adoration, enchantment - and Kate didn't know on whose side it was, which of them was more enthralled. And the beautiful, unlooked for blessing - Castle could feed her too, at any time, giving him those same wonderful moments as well.

The first week after she'd been born, Reese had never been alone. Kate hadn't been able to bear not holding her, and when her body had given out, when her arms trembled and her head swam and she might have actually hurt Reese because she'd been so exhausted, then Castle had taken her. Castle had been the one who'd crawled into bed behind Kate and wrapped his arms around hers and had kept the baby at her chest, his mouth settling at the curve of Kate's neck, staring down at this tiny thing they'd manage to create.

So Reese was spoiled. And of course, Kate fell asleep only to be roused by the nosies her daughter made, those unhappy, _come pick me up_ noises. Kate nudged Castle with her nose, flicked her fingers against his bare chest to wake him up.

He grunted and rolled into her, smothering her, and Kate huffed a laugh, fought the burning in her chest to lift her head and grin at him until he woke. When he realized what was going on, where they were, he groaned and dropped back onto his side of the fold-down bed, rubbed his eyes as he turned to look at Reese in her carrier.

"Is it dangerous for her to sleep with us?" he said, casting a quick look to Kate.

She shrugged. "You sleep like the dead. Until I mess with you," she grinned at him. "Then you roll."

"So don't mess with me, Beck-" He swallowed hard and averted his eyes, glancing at the baby, then back to her.

She shook her head against the pillow and nestled in closer to him. "I'm okay."

"I'm sorry. It came out."

She nodded at his shoulder. She still - even now - she couldn't - it was too much. It was a life she'd left, a life that had screwed her over and left her to rot and she couldn't-

"Kate," he murmured, interrupting her own crazy head. "Kate, no."

"I'm not. I'm okay."

He brushed his hand down her bare back, over and over, and she finally let out a long breath. "Should get Reese. She hates to be alone."

"Yeah. But you first."

"No, Castle," she whispered, pressed her mouth to his shoulder. "Reese first."

He pressed his palm flat at her shoulder blade, lifted his head to kiss her, his lips glancing off her cheek even as he rolled and got his feet onto the floor.

She watched him shimmy into his boxers, grinning at him when he cast a saucy look back in her direction and tossed his tshirt towards her. She wrestled her arms into it as best she could, found the strength to lift up and roll her body to get it down. The bottom of his shirt barely skimmed the tops of her thighs.

Castle sank down at the head of the bed with Reese against his bare chest, nudged Kate with his knee as he pulled his feet up. She scooted to give them space, felt her spine hit the back of their berth, dropped her head to her arm.

He put the baby carefully in the curve of her body and Kate smiled at him for it, lifted her chin until he kissed her mouth, soft and gentle. She tasted his lips with a swipe of her tongue, loved the grunt she pulled from his throat.

"No fair," he muttered. "Baby between us."

"All's fair in love," she murmured back, but her fingers were already skimming Reese's belly, her red little cheeks, the dark wisp of her hair.

"You in love?" Castle said softly, a tease to his voice she hadn't heard in a while.

"Yes," Kate sighed back, letting her voice go dreamy, her eyes unfocus. Then she glanced up swiftly to Castle to gauge his reaction, saw him adoring her, and she laughed. "So in love."

He grinned.

"With my beautiful baby girl," Kate finished, and couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her at his growl.

* * *

He couldn't fall back asleep with Reese in bed with them; he was afraid of crushing her. He stayed up to watch the afternoon sun through the windows and to write on his laptop as the train hurtled across the landscape. Mother and daughter were asleep next to him, Reese's little fist caught under the space his knee left above the mattress.

He reached out and stroked his finger down her nose, watched her mouth work in her sleep. She was a vibrant thing, even at rest - her lashes were thick and dark like Kate's, her skin a healthy pink, the sweet swirl of baby fine hair at her ears, her neck. When she was born, she'd looked so alive, so thriving in comparison with her mother.

Castle had known that the baby had been draining Kate all along; he'd seen the way her feet dragged and her body hollowed out, the way her hair went limp and her eyes too bright even with the pre-natal vitamins. Reese had taken it all.

But he couldn't fault the baby for it, and it made him love Kate all the fiercer for the way she'd funneled every last ounce of her health to their unborn daughter. Here she was, glowing and beautiful and clever even as she slept, his baby girl, all because of her mother.

Castle leaned down over his laptop, hunched into the space, and brushed his lips across Reese's smooth forehead, the wisp of hair - so much hair she had for a tiny thing. When his eyes lifted from his daughter, he caught sight of Kate curled on her side, asleep beside the baby, and he realized with a dart of joy that she looked just as strong, just as vibrant and beautiful as their little girl.

She had come back stronger, was coming back stronger; she was being reborn.

* * *

Reese woke up before her mother, so Castle put his laptop aside and curled an arm under his daughter's neck, tugged her into his lap. She squirmed but didn't make a fuss, didn't seem to be hungry either, so he snagged the baby bag with his toe and pulled it towards him.

He held Reese against his chest, letting her sit up facing out, and found one of the brightly colored board books at the bottom of the bag. She hit a fist against the book when he brought it in close, and he flipped it open to read.

Oh. Uh. In Russian. Heh.

Castle winced at the Cyrillic script (Kate had said once that the double K was a _zh_ sound, but he really, truly didn't get it). Pictures, what were the pictures? He was a writer; he could do this.

"Peek-a-boo," he said, glancing at the cover as he held it in front of Reese. A brown basket, a baby ducked down inside, wisps of dark hair as the kid hid his/her face in his/her hands. Hard to tell. He would have to go with boy and see if that worked.

Castle opened the first page. The kid had lifted his head, was smiling. "Peek-a-boo, I see you." Jeez, he felt like an imbecile. He was a writer, sure, but he was a best-selling mystery novelist. Not a baby's first peek-a-boo board book.

Reese batted at the picture and bounced her head against his chest, lifting and dropping it back, clearly pretty excited.

"Okay," he sighed, turning the page again. "Oh, where's the kitty-cat? Do you see the kitty-cat? Peek-a-boo kitty-cat."

He heard laughter and glanced up to see Kate watching him, a hand pressed to her mouth but her mirth escaping anyway. Reese kept patting the book with her hand, as if urging him to continue.

Castle looked back to the woman sprawled out along the bed, her grin infectious. "How long have you been watching me struggle?"

Kate dropped her hand, grinned wider. "Long enough."

"Uh-huh." He laid a hand over Reese's head, stroked over her hair as he dropped his head to speak close to her ear. "Mommy's mean."

"But Daddy's so cute when he's helpless."

"Thanks. I'll take it as a compliment and ignore the rest."

"Want me to read?"

"Oh no. No, I got this covered. You keep laughing."

She did, actually, and rolled closer to them in the bed, laid her head on thigh, hooked her leg at his knee. She was still smiling, humming in the back of her throat in that way that made his chest warm.

He turned the next page and Reese squirmed, pushing forward to slap both hands to the book. "Peek-a-boo-"

Kate snorted.

"Oh, there's the kitty-cat. You found him."

Kate laughed again, pressing her mouth into his pants as she tried to stifle it. Reese was lunging for her mother now, straining against his arm, not at all interested in his clever Russian story, so he let the girl curl over Kate at her neck even as his wife laughed.

Giggled. Was she giggling? Oh, no, just breathless. He watched her twist an arm around Reese and hold the baby to her, flopping onto her back and off his leg. She gave Reese fat, slobbery sounding kisses, trapping the baby's hands and pretending to gobble them up.

And yeah, she looked as ridiculous as he'd sounded making up that story, but Reese loved it, was grinning and gurgling back at her, the two of them talking without any words at all. Russian or otherwise.

He'd gladly act like an imbecile to hear them both laughing like this. Any day. Anywhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

"Hey," she said louder, shoving on Castle's thigh. He glanced up from his laptop and finally looked at her, eyes slow to focus. "Take her, Castle."

He grunted and shut the laptop, put it aside. She waited for him to get it squared away, and then she lifted Reese off her chest and handed the girl to him, sat up. Castle stared at her, jiggling the baby against him as she protested.

Kate stood up, felt that rush of dizziness as blood drained from her head. She moved towards the door and it slowly fell away.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Kate. Where are you going?"

She glanced back at him, suppressed a sigh. "I'm starving. I want to get a snack."

"I can-"

"No, Castle. You stay."

His mouth opened and closed again; he stared at her a second and the nodded.

She slipped out of their berth even as the train swayed; she had to clutch the wall to keep her balance, her heart hammering at the close call. She'd almost gone down and if she had, there was no way Castle would be so easy-going about letting her out of his sight next time.

Kate made her way to the dining car slowly, being careful to place her feet, paying attention to her steps as she hadn't in a few months. Ever since Reese had been born, Kate had found it easier to keep her balance, easier to take a walk, just easier. She had more energy; she had strength again - at least for a while.

Getting pregnant probably hadn't been the smartest idea on the road to recovery.

Kate smirked at herself and slid open the door to the dining car, stepped inside. The smell of bread and fresh tablecloths made her pause, close her eyes with it. She got pushed from behind by someone trying to enter and had to move forward.

Sitting at the bar in the back of the car, Kate ordered fresh bread and cheese wrapped to go. As she waited for it, she brushed her hand through her hair and leaned against the counter.

"Are you English?"

Kate startled and glanced to her right. A man had slid up beside her, a glass of wine held between two fingers. She realized she couldn't remember what she and Rick had decided their story would be, and she had a moment of panic that finally loosened her tongue.

"American," she said finally, deciding it was best to stick as close to the truth as possible.

"Ah, you have a slight accent," the man said, his mouth spreading into an easy smile. His dark hair was falling in his eyes, but spiky, like it took a lot of effort. Too much effort for a US Marshall looking for a dead prisoner, right? "Your voice is sexy."

Her voice was-

Oh.

She grinned, couldn't help it, and the guy backed up a little, looking confused. At that moment, her food was placed in front of her on the bar, wrapped in a cloth and tied. Kate pulled out her credit card and placed it on the counter, turned back to the man.

"Thank you," she said finally. "Didn't know I had an accent. Other than American."

The guy rebounded quickly, giving her another one of those sparkling smiles. "It's somewhere between Russian and French. I have an ear for languages."

She bet he did. Kate signed the receipt and pocketed their credit card, cradled her afternoon snack like a football. "I do speak both," she said. "And thank you, but I've got to take this back to my husband."

The smile fell right off his face, but he gave a humble little head nod and stepped back. "Your husband. Right. Of course. Too beautiful to be alone."

Kate bit her bottom lip and slid off the stool. "Just lucky." She made a wrong step and had to catch her balance, but the man cupped her elbow, let go the moment she could stand.

"Better go eat," he said. "Looks like you're hungry."

Kate made a non-committal noise and left the dining car with a smile on her lips.

* * *

When she got back to their berth, Castle was on the floor by the bed, a hand on Reese's belly as he snapped her onesie together again. Kate could smell the lingering diaper odor, and she found herself grinning even wider, cradling the warm bread against her chest.

Castle glanced up at her. "Hey there. You look ridiculously happy."

"I am feeling pretty ridiculous, yeah. You're in here changing a dirty diaper and I'm out there getting hit on by a hot - younger - guy."

He glared at her. "Sure, thanks. Rub it in."

She dropped their food on the table and came forward to stroke both hands through his hair, holding his head close to her stomach for just an instant. "Don't worry, Castle. Just give 'em time to notice you - I'm sure the hot, younger guys will hit on you too."

"Oh, ha-ha," he muttered, but his mouth turned and glanced across the inside of her wrist. "Hot guy, huh?"

"Very. And sweet, actually."

"Uh-huh," he muttered, leaning forward to scoop up Reese and then stand in front of Kate.

"He said I have a sexy accent," she said, her hand at Reese's back between them.

"He's right. You do. You've got this slutty tinge to your voice-"

She slapped his chest with a little grin, grateful for the way he was looking at her, all hot and bothered and turned on by her. She'd missed this too. And even though she'd always had a healthy amount of self-confidence, she'd been imprisoned, killed, resurrected, and then pregnant - not the best of changes to her body.

But Castle was running his fingers up and down her side, tripping along her ribs, and he dipped his mouth to hers. She kept her hand steady on the baby and let Castle explore, lazy strokes of his tongue, until she felt it pool in her blood like heat.

She didn't have it in her to do that again, more's the pity, because she was feeling pretty good, pretty powerful, but she had to break it off.

"Okay, Castle. I'm starving. Let me eat before you ravish me again."

And instead of the laughter she'd intended, his face clouded over, his arms tightening around Reese as he fought to put distance between them. "Yeah. Eat. You should-"

She reached out and touched the side of his face, cradling his cheek for an instant. "Castle. It was a joke."

He nodded, but she'd ruined the moment. Just that easy.

* * *

Castle looked at her, really looked at her, and couldn't help the shame that flared through his chest.

Young, hot guys were hitting on her.

Because she looked radiant. And all he'd been able to see the past year was how she wasn't the woman he'd met in New York, wasn't the detective he'd followed around - not because she was somehow deficient, but because of what he'd done to her, the choice he'd made for her.

To poison her. To end her life as Kate Beckett.

She wasn't Beckett any longer; she'd known that before he did. He was still slow to let it go.

But was she really Kate Rodgers, as her passport stated? He knew a guy, had made it happen, and the passport and id papers claimed she was, but she wasn't that either.

She was radiant. She was Reese's mother. She was slowly licking her thumb free of cheese and leaning her elbows on the fold-down table, staring out the window with a gaze that missed nothing.

Her hair was at her shoulders, grown out from the choppy length she'd been forced to adopt in prison, but not nearly as long as he'd seen it before. It was healthier now than even a few months ago, and it shimmered dark and fine in the sunlight that struggled weakly through the clouds. Filtered rays hit the slashing lines of her cheekbones, still more prominent than he liked, but so very starkly gorgeous.

No wonder she was getting hit on. She looked confident and graceful and mysterious in her joy. Her mouth was lifted in a half smile that he couldn't remember _not_ seeing recently; she was always smiling, always tilting her head and flashing him these looks-

Sultry. She was doing it right now.

Her tongue came out to lick at her thumb again, her teeth catching the skin, and she grinned, lifted her eyebrows. "Hey, there."

"You're gorgeous," he blurted out.

She laughed and settled her cheek against her palm to watch him, her other hand rolling a piece of bread back and forth with her fingers.

"Really," he insisted.

"Really," she hummed.

"You are. Still got a bony ass and your feet are always cold in bed, but-"

"Uh-huh," she laughed, and her eyes were so bright and brilliant on him, dark pools that sparked. "Such a charmer, Castle."

"I try."

"Try harder, Writer-Man."

He laughed at that, but wondered. She didn't need it - she was _gorgeous_ - but maybe he spent too much time asking if she was okay, hovering, noticing her only when she was weak. The humor was his only defense against her beauty, but maybe instead he should just be surrendering to it.

He still had Reese next to him in the seat while Kate sat at the edge of the pull-down bed, but he scooped up the baby and slid around the tight space to sit beside his wife. She was still smiling, still absorbing what little sunlight there was, and she reached out and brushed her fingers over Reese's cheek.

But that wasn't what he was doing here.

Castle put the baby towards the back of the bed, pulled a pillow down so she couldn't roll, and then he turned to Kate.

"What are you-"

He leaned in and kissed her slowly, let his mouth warm her lips, his fingers stroking her jaw, her neck, slipping into her hair. She rose strong and firm against him, pushing into his chest, a hand coming to clutch at his shirt.

Before it could get too far, Castle broke from her mouth and stared at her, breathing hard. He wanted to say again how amazing she was, but he realized, with a start, that maybe she wanted to hear more than just how she'd endured a terrible ordeal and come through. Maybe she wanted to hear that she had the body and the presence and the mind that still made him want her.

Badly.

He brushed his thumb across that harsh line of her cheek, saw instead of shadows under her eyes the way her skin glowed across her bones.

"Your skin is so soft," he murmured, still stroking. He dropped his hand to her shoulder, let his fingers curl around her sweater. "You have this spot right here - at the sensitive, vulnerable part of your arm - where your skin feels just like Reese's."

He could see her chest rise and fall, feel the heat of her. Her mouth opened and he leaned in to take another kiss from her, letting his tongue skim the beautiful stretch of her lips.

She pushed back from him first, blinking slowly. "Rick."

But there was more. "I love the hard jut of your hips - I love feeling them press into mine when you hug me-"

"Hug," she murmured. "Is that what we're calling it in front of Reese?"

He laughed and his chest eased to see the sensual humor in her eyes, to hear the way her voice was breathless and hopeful at the same time. Not because he was arousing her, but because she heard the truth of _his _arousal in his words.

"I love your mouth."

"I gotta say, right about now I love your mouth too, Castle," she said, and slid her palm down his chest, hooked her fingers in his belt.

Sucking in a breath, he half-turned to check on Reese - she'd flipped onto her stomach and was lifting her head, grunting for the lady bug toy still trapped in the sheets. Kate's hand at his waist snared his attention and he looked at his wife again, caught by the want in her eyes.

"Your eyes are-"

"Okay," she said softly. "Enough. You've proved your point, Rick." She leaned in and kissed him, wet and forceful but quick, too quick. When she skimmed that kiss to the edge of jaw, up to his ear, her breath was a rush across his skin. "Why so poetic?"

"Because some random guy in the dining car saw what I wouldn't let myself see."

"What?" she breathed, confusion and concern overlaying her tone.

Castle pulled her in closer, wrapped an arm around her back to press her against him. "How absolutely stunning you are. And how all I want to do when I look at you is touch you, touch you Kate, put my hands on you and make you wild for me."

She was breathing raggedly against his cheek, her hand still in his belt, and she bent her head and nuzzled at his neck, humming. The vibrations made his body sing.

"Too late," she said finally, her words against his skin, her tongue touching his adams apple. "I'm already wild for you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

Reese made happy noises and tightened her fists in Kate's hair; Castle tried to carefully, slowly untangle the girl's grip before it woke up his wife, but nope, nothing got by her.

She was awake.

Her eyes were dark with remnants of sleep and she blinked at him, staring, until awareness filtered in. Reese was lunging for her, wanting her, and Castle held her off.

"I'm exhausted," Kate muttered, and his heart dropped.

"Sorry," he whispered. "Go back to sleep. Reese is just - being a handful."

But Kate opened her eyes again and lifted her lips into a smile, reached for their daughter. He let the baby go, watched them both like a hawk-

"I was in the middle of the strangest dream," Kate laughed, her eyes on Reese as the baby rocked against her, as if trying to climb. "It wore me out. We had three more and-"

"Three more what?" he asked. The dream wore her out? Maybe she didn't literally mean she was exhausted then.

He caught the look Kate gave him, felt his insides flip.

"Babies. We had three more babies, Castle."

"Babies?" he said dumbly, glancing down at her body, the smooth and narrow hipbones-

"In my dream," she said, nudging his shoulder with hers. "But we were trying to herd them into - I don't know, a grocery store? Something. And they were all two and under. Reese was still a baby, so she had older siblings I guess-"

"Bizarre."

"I know. Right? I just - I can't remember their names, but I was yelling after one of them - boy or girl, I have no clue - and I thought _I can't believe we did this_."

"Yeah, I don't think it's such a great idea." He shook his head.

Kate stiffened next to him and pulled away a little, looking at his face. "I meant whatever it was we named the kid. Not - you don't want more kids?"

"Kate," he laughed, rubbed a hand down his face. "I don't think you can take it."

"I can take it," she growled at him, her hand coming around his bicep in a tight grip. "Not right this moment, but I'm - we can do this again. In a few years. We can."

He nodded, just to keep her from going on about it, just to keep from having that conversation (but no way in hell was he going to make her as weak and broken down as he had by getting her pregnant, by poisoning her and then knocking her up. Never again.)

She laid her head back against his arm, Reese kicking her feet and putting a fist in her mouth. He brushed his fingers through her hair, which he knew she hated, but Kate suddenly laughed. "Oh, I remember."

"What?"

"One of the babies' names. We called him - her? - Twix."

"Twix?" he huffed, a laugh escaping him. "Oh jeez. Reese and Twix. The other two were Hershey and Snickers, weren't they?"

"Probably," she chuckled. "I do love chocolate."

He laughed again and rubbed his hand up and down her arm, for some reason visions of four dark-eyed kids with clever smiles and entirely too much mischief were etched into his mind's eye. Made him uncomfortable.

"I hope Twix is a girl," he said.

She laughed. "Hershey could be a boy's name. But Snickers?"

"The dog."

Her laughter was so light, so breathy and joyful and delighted that he couldn't help himself. He kissed her, captured that amusement with his mouth, drank it all in even as Reese was sandwiched between them.

Her fingers came up between them, pushed him back. She was breathless, struggling for it - she really was tired then - but she was smiling. "I'm not letting you name our kid Twix. Just saying."

"Don't worry," he murmured back. _I'll never let myself have the chance._

* * *

She had catalogued every inch of Reese when the baby was born, lying in the hospital bed in Sochi, propped up as best she could, her fingers traveling over her daughter's body. She counted toes first - for some reason, she had nightmares about webbed feet - and then she moved up to the crown of the girl's head.

Skinny legs, that's what she remembered now. Skinny legs when they should've had rolls of baby fat. But then Castle had said Alexis looked the same, that most newborns looked like little aliens, strange adults with their misshapen heads and tiny stick limbs. Kate hadn't been able to reconcile, at first, the greedily sucking thing in her arms with the image she'd built in her head when she'd talked to her belly for nine months.

Now she couldn't imagine a different baby, couldn't fathom not knowing the beautiful shape of her daughter.

She swiped her thumb along Reese's neck, the folds of her skin, made the girl squirm and open her mouth.

Kate's dream had been strange, and kind of wonderful, and overwhelming. Waking up had only made her grateful there was just the one, but still, a lingering sense of wistfulness held her.

Not Twix. But. She had assumed he wanted kids, had never expected to hear otherwise, and when she got stronger, maybe in a few years, she had thought they'd have another.

They'd picked Reese because it was her mother's maiden name; Johanna was too awkward and burdened for a baby, but keeping a family name seemed important. Especially now that Kate was so. . .cut off.

It had been Castle's idea.

Actually, they'd argued over names for nine months, never settling on anything that sounded right or felt like it belonged to them. They kept the gender a surprise, so there'd been twice the amount of fights.

But she couldn't take him seriously with suggestions like _Han Solo_ and he whined that the normal names were too boring. Reese had come like magic - both the name and the girl - and it had fit the moment Castle breathed it out in mystery over their daughter.

Reese Rodgers. It fit. She wished, sometimes, for Reese Castle. . .

But apparently her dream self was a-okay with _Twix_, which was really just so not cool at all.

They'd passed through Minsk about an hour ago, no stops, and she wondered if their next kid should have a geographical name, a reflection of all the places she and Castle had made their home.

Minsk would never work. Moscow seemed. . .too much. Sochi? It was cute. Could be. For a girl, maybe. She could actually see that, and wow, Castle had so rubbed off on her if she was entertaining the idea of _Sochi._

"What about place names?" she said suddenly, turning her head to look at him. He was crammed up against the window, his mind somewhere else as he stared out at the landscape. She jiggled Reese in her arms to keep the girl from eating her mother's hair, and nudged Castle's knee.

"What?" he said, bewildered eyes coming to meet hers. "Place what?"

"What about cities? It could be a way of honoring where we've come from. Maybe not Manhattan, but Bronx is kind of cool. And it's not like anyone in Versailles would know."

He gave her a long, slow blink and then his eyes fell to Reese. "What are you talking about? Bronx?"

"Baby names," she grinned.

His face blanched; her heart constricted.

"You're not pregnant, are you?" he blurted out.

Well, fuck, Castle.

She closed her eyes and curled her arms around Reese, breathed through it.

"Okay, sorry, I know. Stupid question. I panicked." She felt his hand at her knee, _soothing_, but she was pissed. It wasn't a stupid question - it was the _tone_, damn it. Like that was the last thing he wanted, and she was furious.

She opened her eyes and he lifted his hand off her, surrender in his movements.

"I'm sorry. I just - I was thinking about what you said and then you came out with that and Kate, I don't want to do that you again."

_Do that_ to her again? "Why don't you shut up? Digging a deeper hole."

He nodded, dropped his hands in his lap, and she gave him a long look, the burn of shame in her chest fueling her anger. Shame. And she hated him in that moment, for making her feel like this. Like he always did. Like he owed her something, like she owed him, like the whole thing was a terribly botched job and if he'd never saved her life, they wouldn't be here now.

Of course they would. They'd have been here. That's why she married him in the first place - because he had promised her that he'd already had the ring, he'd already wanted it.

They had talked about kids, before she'd been arrested. They'd talked about how beautiful it would be, their family. And now he'd changed his mind because of _her_?

"What happened to in sickness and in health?" she muttered, swiping her hand over her eyes to dispel the vision of his horror.

"What. . .what do you mean?" His voice was quiet, and she knew she'd hurt him just now. Good. He should be. "Kate. I'm not - I'd never quit on you. I'm not looking to split up. What do you mean by that?"

Reese was smiling up at her, so happy, so unaware of her parents. Kate grit her teeth and turned her head back to him, watched the gut-wrenching sorrow flashing across his face. She'd seen too much of that; she was so tired of it.

"I mean. I get sick and suddenly everything is abandoned? We had a plan, Castle."

His jaw dropped. But now that it was out there, she couldn't stop.

"We were going to have a family. We were together on that. I know you wanted kids - you told me - we dreamed about it, you looked so-" She broke off before her grief could choke her, closed her eyes to get it under control. No more of that. No more. It was done. "And now that's. . .you act like it's impossible. Like we can't have that. But we can. I want to - why don't you want to?"

She sounded pathetic, damn it. She didn't open her eyes, couldn't. Not with it all right there, ready to spill out of her like tears. If she cried, Castle would never believe she was strong enough.

His hand came around her forearm, traced down to her wrist, as close as he could get to holding her hand without dislodging her from Reese.

"Kate." His voice cracked and he cleared his throat to try again. "You didn't get sick. I killed you. These are just - the consequences."


	8. Chapter 8

**Unvanquished Redux**

* * *

He didn't know what to do.

She'd put the baby in his arms and she'd walked out of their berth, and everything in her face told him he wasn't to follow.

But maybe he should.

Still this was Kate.

So he just didn't know.

Reese squirmed in his arms and he dropped his gaze to her, his beautiful, strong little girl. She was waving a fist towards him, bumping his chest, kicking out with her feet. She wanted to try to stand; she liked seeing the world with those dark, knowing eyes.

His heart squeezing painfully in his chest, Castle shifted the baby upright, felt her bare toes, the heels of her feet hitting his thighs as she tried to keep herself standing. He held her against his chest, his palm wide over her belly, and her head bobbed as she watched out the window.

He knew he'd ruined whatever good he'd done just an hour earlier, the words he'd said to show Kate how beautiful he found her, to make it clear that he still saw her and not just the terrible things that had happened to her. He'd ruined it.

Because he _did_ still see the terrible things that had happened. He couldn't stop seeing them.

He tried to recall what it was they'd talked about before she'd been arrested. Back in New York, he'd taken her out on a date, had planned to give her the ring then but the restaurant felt too crowded and public. He'd walked home with her the whole way, their hands together, and he remembered nudging her hip and pointing out a little girl with her mother, racing to catch up.

Yeah, she was right. They'd already been talking about it.

There'd been another moment, in bed, her back to his chest, sprawled practically on top of him, and he'd pressed his palm to her stomach, his mouth at her shoulder. She'd curled her arm up so she could brush her fingers through his hair. She'd said something then, something like _soon?_, and he remembered the way his guts had clenched, wanting it.

Wanting a family with her.

But they had one - they were a family. Reese was here.

So how come he was wrong? Why had she looked at him like he was taking back his promises?

He was just trying to keep her alive. Just trying to get back the life she had-

Oh.

Damn. Just trying to get the life she had?

So was she.

But instead of concentrating on recovery and gaining strength and limiting herself, Kate was trying to push forward into their future, give them the vision they'd had.

He'd been about to propose to her; they'd talked about kids.

She was just trying to claim that.

Damn it, he was an asshole.

* * *

She was in the dining car and she didn't know why.

Kate caught herself looking around for that guy from before, the one who'd been sweet and suave, and she closed her eyes in frustation when she realized what she was doing.

And then a hand came to her lower back and she stiffened, sliding farther down the bar.

"Kate."

She turned and he was standing behind her, Reese tucked close to his chest and the baby clearly not happy about it. She sighed and reached for her daughter, but Castle shook his head and kept the baby away, a hand at her waist.

"Come back and talk to me."

She didn't want to _talk_ about it. She wanted it to not exist - all of it - whatever it was. She wanted to hold on to the beautiful way he'd looked at her only a few hours ago, adoring and in love with her and aroused.

"Please."

It wasn't like she'd been about to refuse. But the please did something to her, a blast of heat to the ice trickling in her veins, and instead of walking rigidly back to their berth with him, she let her body lean into his, her forehead against his chest, her cheek to Reese's little fist, giving them a time out.

His arm came up immediately, hugging her hard across her shoulders, his mouth at her hair. He didn't say anything, and she was so glad, so grateful for his silence that was neither apology nor forgiveness, just the quiet of her friend.

She'd created a little girl with her best friend. She'd wanted that, wanted it so badly. Wanted their life, just like they'd imagined it. And even though the city was different, even though Reese would never grow up a New Yorker, knowing the parks and the streets and the subways and the museums, they still could do this.

They'd learn their new city together, visit Paris; they'd take Reese with them and show her the Château de Versailles-

Oh.

Well, they were on their way to that life she'd wanted, weren't they? No wonder he was so confused, no wonder he looked at her like she was crazy. They had Reese - wasn't that family enough?

"I'm sorry," she murmured. Damn, she hated being wrong. Being stupid. She didn't often let herself get overwhelmed by these things; her life was simple and clean and organized - the castle, the baby, the Castle.

"Come back," he murmured. "We need to talk-"

"I don't want to talk. I want to apologize and forget it-"

"I don't think that works very well in the long run."

She sighed and lifted her head from his chest, gave him an eye roll just to see the crack of a smile on his face. His hand came up from her shoulder blade to curl at her neck.

"Kate-"

"Okay. I'm coming." But she paused and kissed Reese's chubby cheek, brushed her fingers over her baby's dark hair. After too long a moment there, Castle's fingers were nudging her, pushing her on.

She turned and went back.

* * *

Reese didn't want to be in her baby seat, and honestly, Castle felt like he needed her weight to anchor him, remind him that things weren't falling apart. He was just being melodramatic, so he kept that to himself and braced Reese against his chest.

"So let's talk about having kids," he said, throwing himself into the void.

Kate curled her knees up under her and gave him a short look. "Let's just leave it, Castle."

"It doesn't do either of us any good to let it fester."

"It wouldn't be for another two or three years anyway, so why bring it up now?"

"I don't want to be dreading this conversation for two years," he said dryly, jostling Reese up to his shoulder so she could see out the window.

"Dreading?" she murmured. "Can't you just - just give me the next two years to prove myself?"

"Prove what?" He was lost, as was so often the case when they had serious conversations. It was like they were no longer in sync, like her time in prison had altered some fundamental wavelength and he couldn't discover her frequency no matter what he did.

It was just static. And sometimes, a clear, cool voice came through and he knew he was close. If he could just focus a little more, narrow it down.

But she was shaking her head at him, her fingers rubbing the bridge of her nose. He used to back off when she did that, a sure sign she was exhausted, but now he thought maybe he needed to prove something to her as well - that he was willing to fight her again, fight her for them, fight her like they used to fight. Equals.

She couldn't do this to them - keep silent.

"Prove what, Kate?" he said again.

"That I can be a good mother. That I can be strong enough-"

"You have _nothing_ to prove," he said sharply, felt his hand clench around Reese's leg. "Kate. Nothing. Look at you. Look at our daughter. You're-"

"Well then why?" she said, and he heard the tremor in her voice, the way it wanted to crack. But she wasn't crying, she was angry.

"Why what?"

"Why don't you want - why has it changed? Why was I good enough before but not now?"

He didn't know what she wanted, what she needed to hear. He didn't understand how Before and After worked anymore; he couldn't comprehend why this had anything at all to do with what they used to be, the people they used to be. They weren't those people. This wasn't Beckett's life; this wasn't Rick Castle's life. This was their life - Rick and Kate Rodgers.

"I don't understand, Kate. I don't know what you're talking about."

She growled and put her fists into her eyes, spoke from behind the shield of her arms. "I don't understand either. I don't get why having a family with you is now off-limits. You say I'm - that I'm what you want, but you act like everything is a burden-"

"No." God, he's going to be sick. "No. None of this is a _burden_. This is more than - you're more than I thought possible, and damn it, Kate, I can't even fathom how this got so very off-track, how you could even think-"

"Because of everything you _do_. Everything is about being so damn careful. You talk a good game, and you're charming and sweet and you know just the right words to say, but everything you do tells me something else entirely, and I just don't know any more. Which one am I to believe?"

"That can't be true," he whispered, staring at her dark eyes, the twisted grimace on her mouth. "That can't be true. Are you seriously doubting me?"

Her face fell, her mouth opening on a sound that wouldn't come out.

"You doubt me." It tasted like ash, the words. Everything. His arms were heavy with his daughter and his wife sat there like she was staring into darkness. "You doubt how much I want you? I fucking killed you, Kate. I killed the one person I'd do anything to save, risk anything to keep - I killed you so that I could _have you. _And it eats at my soul, what I've done to you."

Kate stared at him, everything in her eyes if only he could understand it.

"When you punish yourself," she started slowly, and for some reason her body was unfurling towards him, surrounding him. She was straddling his lap and her mouth came to his neck, his jaw, her hands at the baby to keep Reese still. "When you punish yourself for it, Castle - you're just punishing me."

He groaned into the feel of her, their daughter between them, her hands cradling his.

"Can't you forgive me, Castle? Can't you please just forgive me?"

"Kate," he gasped, felt the sting of grief in his chest, flaring in his eyes.

"Please. I'm so tired of it between us."

He gripped her harder, as if he could force her body to mold against his. But the baby was between them.

"I don't know how."

* * *

She sat back from him, the anguish that he carried around in his eyes now spilling out all over his face. Maybe they needed this. Maybe this was the only way to do it. It hurt so badly, but maybe it would be over soon.

She slipped her hands under his, took the baby from him. They couldn't do this while Reese was active and squirming in their arms. Kate cradled her daughter close and then carefully slid off Castle's lap and moved towards the baby seat.

"She won't want-"

"She can deal," Kate said quickly, her back to him. She strapped Reese in, stroked her finger down the pouting girl's cheek. "Can't you, baby? You should be taking a nap anyway."

She stood slowly, being sure, trying to be confident, and came back to him, determined to have it out. Not a fight, but an exorcism. She had known he was carrying this around, and she had just left it alone, had hoped that with time he would see her as strong again, as worthy, as enough - and that it would heal him too.

She was just going to have to force it.

"Kate." It wasn't anything but her name, like he needed a touchstone. A place to get back to.

She wanted this to be good for him again, back to how it was before she was thrown in prison.

Kate stood in the tiny berth, her body between his legs, and leaned back gingerly against the flip down table. It would hold; she settled in and turned her head to the baby. Reese was making noises from her carrier, little grunts as she worked at reaching for the toy hanging from the handle - this one a bumblebee. Kate faced Castle then, studied the bowed head, the weary line of his shoulders.

She loved him. She ached for him, for what he carried, for the position she'd put him in. He was miserable because he had loved her, and she had never wanted that for him. He loved her still, she knew that, but it was tangled up in grief and regret and guilt.

"Rick."

He didn't lift his head, but one of his hands uncurled from his knee. She leaned over and took it, drew his hand into her lap with both of her own, felt the heaviness across her thighs.

"Rick, we've got to get past this."

"I know."

"Two years from now, five years from now - even six months from now, Rick, when I'm fine and can take the stairs two at a time, you're going to regret feeling like this."

His breath caught; she could see the hitch in his back, across his shoulders.

She kept going. "You're going to regret treating our marriage like penance."

"Kate," he groaned.

"I am too," she whispered. "I already do. I don't want to resent you for making me feel like it's my fault. Could I have done something differently? Should I have stepped back sooner, should I never have told you about my mother at all?"

"No, no, Kate. You're not to blame-" His eyes came up, red and swimming. The tears didn't fall, they just held there, suspended.

"Then things need to change. If I'm not to blame, then stop acting like I am."

He nodded, his throat working, but she knew he still didn't know how.

"The problem is, Rick, that I knew - I knew something like that would happen, that he'd come after me. When I was shot and that didn't stop me, he'd have to get clever. I sensed it. I didn't imagine that his number two guy would set me up, though. I just didn't think - I had hoped that if I had you, if we were together, he'd leave me alone."

"I was no great protection for you."

"Maybe you were," she shrugged. "Maybe the fact that you're Richard Castle, famous novelist - maybe your interest in me saved my life. Because killing me would've been cheaper. But letting me rot in prison for his death-"

He growled, a noise that choked in his throat; his fingers curled at her wrist before he flipped his hand so that his palm was hot and hard over her thigh. She hunched in closer to him and stroked her fingers through his hair, brought his head up to look at her.

"Everything I have is because of you." Kate waited for that to sink in, like a stone dropped in the slate-blue pool of his eyes. "Everything - the good, the wonderful, but also the bad. And this is bad, Castle. This needs to be over with."

"I'm trying. I'm-"

"We both try," she murmured, her thumb at the lines spider-webbed in the corner of his eye. "My body is stronger every day, and you need to see that. I want you to see that. I know my limits; I know where I can't go, what I can't do. You trust me with that, with Reese - but you still-"

"I just want to help. I just want it to not be so hard for you. It hurts, Kate. It hurts when you're frustrated and angry and broken - but it's worse because I know it's me, it's my fault. I got - I got the doses wrong. I did it wrong and you nearly died for real-"

"Castle," she murmured, her heart cracked and splintering. "Rick, hon, no. No." She slid down in front of him, on her knees in the constricted berth, her hands on his thighs as she stared into the grief in his eyes. "You did everything right. You took a huge risk yourself - and it's not _at all_ your fault that I couldn't keep the weight on."

"It was supposed to be - I talked to Greg," he whispered, his hand clutching at her neck. She leaned into him, their foreheads pressed together, her knees aching on the floor. "I talked to Greg and he told me what to do. He helped-"

"Oh God, Castle. You could've been arrested for killing me."

"I didn't care. It didn't matter. I had to get you out."

She let out a long breath against his nose, felt his hand clutching at her, rhythmic and needy. She slid her palms up his thighs and back down, trying to ease him. She could hear Reese making her unhappiness known, but they needed this first.

They had never talked about it. They had just - carried on.

"I was going to die in there," she said carefully. "It's hard to imagine now - hard to recapture that feeling in all its awful finality. But I knew it. My time had a pattern to it. I'd be jumped in the bathroom, the cafeteria, the library - and then in the infirmary for the rest of the day. They'd orchestrate it down to the moment. After I was put in solitary, then it was broken glass in my food. Other things."

He let out a sharp breath, another; she stroked her hands along his thighs, comfort for him but comfort for herself as well.

"I know you bribed a guard to help me. But she couldn't be on duty all the time. And the nurse was giving me what she thought were sleeping pills, but she knew they were doing something bad - she just hated me too much to adjust the dose. I'd lie in the bunk and feel the pills rob me of my breath and I'd think - it's okay. If I die, it's okay. At least I died trying, at least-"

"Kate," he got out, gripping her neck. "Kate, don't."

"You have to know," she said, could hear the strength in her voice again. "You were my reason. Because I couldn't let go of you, of all the things we hadn't been able to do, be for each other - I couldn't let go of that future we'd envisioned. Seeing you so determined to make it real again, to make it happen for us - I loved you for that. I needed that."

"Kate, I love you so much."

"Let me make it real for you too. Let's have it back, all the things we wanted for our lives."

He was nodding into her, his eyes pressed shut, his hand heavy at her neck. She waited, waited for him, saw how he barely kept from breaking apart, how fragilely he controlled it. Reese was a constant wall of sound at her back, demanding attention, but not yet angry.

"How do we do that, Castle? How do we make it real again?"

"It's real," he said tightly. "This is real. It hasn't gone anywhere."

She breathed out, didn't realize just how tightly she'd held that fear to herself, that she wasn't enough anymore, that the weakness of her body had translated into a weakness of love.

His arms came around her then, pulled her up from the floor. She helped, put her knee on the bench at his hip, clutching him harder, their chests pressed together.

"You're so strong," he sighed, his mouth at her eye, her nose, finding her lips. "And every day I see you getting stronger."

"Does that help?" she sighed, felt her body responding to the press of him, the fervor of his hands along her sides, her belly. "Does it help to see me-"

"Just keep reminding me," he murmured. "Keep hitting me over the head with it."

She pressed her hand into him, touched him, smiled at the way his body responded, a shudder that had him groaning. "Like that?"

"Kate," he grunted, sought her mouth again.

She kissed him, the heat building between them, liquid and virulent and catching her on fire.

"Does this make you believe me?" she murmured, working him, wanting him to lose control under her.

"Can't - can't do that right now. Not like this."

And as good as it was, as much as she wanted him, she turned her head, twisting her body a little to look at the carrier in the floor.

"Reese," he said softly.

She sighed. "Reese."

He laughed, a brush of his mouth to her throat. "Think what three more would be like. Never have a moment alone."

"Gotta make them first," she muttered, gentling her hands.

His arms went around her swiftly, a fierce embrace that belied the humor in his voice. She leaned into his hug, wrapped her legs around his waist. She didn't - definitely didn't - have the strength for another round, and even if she could give him what he needed, he didn't seem to want to do it without her.

"I love you," she said softly into his ear, squeezing him tighter even as Reese's demanding babbles pitched louder and louder. "I love you, and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

She felt the heavy sigh as he embraced her, and then his head came up.

"Did you call me _hon_?"

And she could laugh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

She left him on the bed with his spine against the wall, his head tilted back, trying to get it together. After a moment, he could lift his gaze to where she was teasing Reese in the carrier, sillying the girl out of her demands for attention. When the baby was smiling at her mother again, fists waving but no longer insistent, Kate reached in and unstrapped her, picked her up.

Castle stretched his legs out along the bed, scooted over so that Kate had room. She brought the baby with her, but stood over him, a hand leaving Reese to brush through his hair, palm the back of his head.

"You okay?" she murmured.

"Good. You two sit with me."

"Of course," she said, already sliding down next to him, her balance carefully kept. She was right - she was already stronger, more able. She was more than surviving, she was thriving. Just like their daughter. It would take time, just like Reese - she couldn't run before she walked.

He took the baby out of her mother's arms, laid the girl on his thighs. She was a long thing, but her cheeks were fat, her legs chubby, good-sized belly. Her little fingers curled around his and her feet kicked as Kate leaned against him.

He caught the girl's feet, tugged on them as she moved, grinning down at the happy baby grin she gave him. He kissed those bare soles, made her squirm with it.

"You smile the same," Kate said on a sigh, her chin on his shoulder. "Can you see it?"

"Reese and I?"

"Mm, I love your correct grammar," she murmured, laughing a little as she nipped at his ear.

He reached back to swat at her, felt her follow-up kiss at his skin, and instead he cupped her cheek. She kissed his palm for it.

"I don't think she looks much like me," he said.

"Yes she does," Kate laughed. "That smile. Those fat cheeks."

"I do not have fat cheeks."

She was laughing harder, her hand curled at his shoulder. "No, sorry, I meant - oh, hilarious. I meant her face is shaped like yours."

"Oh great. Sorry, peanut butter, you've got my fat head."

Kate laughed harder, burying her nose against his shoulder. "I don't mean her head. Her face. Look at her face - everything - her eyes squint up like yours, her cheeks are so full, her whole face beams with her smile-"

"She has your mouth," he interrupted, watching Reese study them too. Then the girl got a fist in her mouth, seemed surprised by it.

"Could be," Kate said, lifting an arm to reach out and stroke the side of Reese's cheek. "Maybe she does. But she smiles like you."

"When we were in Sochi, right before she was born," he started, a little mesmerized by the play of Kate's fingers over their daughter. "I remember you standing at the threshold to our little apartment, both your arms raised to brace yourself in the door frame, like you were blocking me out. Had we raced up there? While you were pregnant?"

She shrugged. "I doubt we were racing. I do remember pretending I wasn't going to let you in until you caved."

"Oh. Right." Caved to her. Sex, that's what she'd wanted, why she'd stood triumphant in the doorway, her belly between them, her body succulent. He'd wanted her too. Badly.

"And you did."

"I did. I caved."

"Why do you remember that now?"

"Oh, yeah, well. . .now it's kinda gross."

She laughed and pulled back to look in his face. "Gross?"

"You were teasing, smiling at me, and it's the same shape of the mouth that Reese has. Oh damn. Someday she'll smile at some asshole like that too."

Kate laughed so hard she bowed over him, clutching at his sides with her fingers. He chuckled with her, glanced at Reese as the girl tried her best to imitate them, her mouth working, her eyes so expressive.

"Oh my, Castle. That's - hmm. . .that's kind of a terrible thought."

"It is!" He grinned down at her, kissed her temple as she struggled upright, still laughing. "But maybe she needs a couple of brothers to look out for her. Twix and Hershey."

Kate stilled, her cheek pressed at his shoulder, one of her hands clinging in his shirt. He held his breath and then forcefully expelled it; he could do this. He owed her this.

He pushed forward. "Sorry, Twix is the girl, right? How about Heath and Clark?"

He could feel her suck in a breath, but she didn't break the mood. She kept it going. "Those are candy bars. . .and actually good names."

"Clark has the added benefit of being Superman's alter ego-"

"Of course. Of course it does."

"Be grateful I don't suggest Kal-El."

"Probably because Nick Cage already took it."

He grinned into the top of her head. "True. But Clark doesn't really work - I don't like Clark bars."

"I'm not sure I've ever had one."

"There's also KitKat and Krackel."

"KitKat? Ug-"

He laughed with a sudden thought. "That could be your name. KitKat. Kate-"

"Don't you dare. If you start calling me _KitKat_, I will make you pay."

"It could be cute. Reese and KitKat and Clark-"

"Oh no. No no. Go back to place names. Remember?"

He stroked his fingers down her arm, daring to move again. "I remember. Sochi. Like that's a name I want to give my kid."

"Says the man who wanted Han Solo."

"A man's name. A good name. A hero's-"

"Sochi would be a girl, Castle. Come on."

"There's also the Oh Henry bar. Mm, Rolo! I love those. And Baby Ruth. Aw, wouldn't that be cute? Baby Ruth."

"You're stuck on chocolate." She lifted her head a little and gave him a narrow-eyed look.

"We could expand it to all candy. Starburst. Jolly Rancher - uh, no. Ooh, Smarties. Now there's an interesting idea - does naming the kid Smarties actually subtly create a self-fulfilling prophecy-"

"I changed my mind. Forget it. No candy. No places. Outlawed. Banned."

But he had more. "Toblerone! What a cool name. We could call him Toblee, like Toby but with an 'l'. Ha. I love it."

"Stop."

"Oh, our first boy? Junior Mints. Perf-"

She shut him up with a violent kiss to his mouth, her teeth nipping at his top lip, her tongue stroking hard. He grunted into the kiss, put a hand to Reese's belly automatically, tasted the frustration on Kate's lips.

She pulled back, her eyes dark. He thought she was getting ticked at the baby names, but no. No, she was hot. Needy. Wow.

She must've read the astonishment on his face. "Chocolate and babies, Castle. You _trying_ to get me worked up here?"

He laughed, felt a little breathless even so. "Not particularly. Just a great side effect."

Under his hand, he felt Reese squirm, bat at his wrist. He shifted his gaze to his daughter, smiling at her, and felt Kate move from his side and stand up.

"Where you going?"

"Getting the laptop. I want to see if Alexis emailed me."

He had stopped reminding her that she could just check that on her phone; she wasn't going to do it anyway. So he nodded and watched her move to the other side of the berth, rifle through the bag for the laptop. She came back, sat opposite him with her feet at his hip, the computer on her thighs.

Reese demanded his attention with a strange little squeak; he and Kate both laughed, his eyes going to his daughter. She hit him with her baby fist, both arms moving, her body bouncing a little, her gaze locked with his.

"Hey, there, peanut. Sorry. I wasn't paying you any attention, was I?" He leaned forward and scooped her off his knees, brought her face close to his. He nuzzled Reese with his nose, her fingers sprawling at his cheek, and laughed when she smacked him again. "Okay, okay, I'll make it up to you."

"See?" Kate murmured from across the bed. "You guys have the same amazing smile."

He brought his head up to look at his wife, gave her that smile she loved so much, watched the way her body responded to him.

Maybe tonight. Maybe he should just spend tonight paying attention to Kate, making it up to her, no demands of his own, no needs of his own, just Kate.

"Not-uh," she said, shaking her head at him. "You can't look at me like that. It is so not fair."

* * *

Alexis had emailed her - first, a detailed itinerary complete with suggestions about where they could go once she met them in Paris. Her flight had been delayed, a second email complained, and she was stuck in Heathrow. A third to say she'd gotten the next flight out tomorrow, so she was staying with her ex-boyfriend in London.

"She's spending the night with him," she sighed.

"Kate," he warned.

She shrugged it off and went back through Alexis's schedule, tried to ignore the irritation. But it wouldn't be denied. "I just don't think it's smart to look back. They're over. He broke it off with her, and now he just keeps her in his back pocket-"

"It's not like it's Karl's fault that she's stuck in London."

"She should've gotten a hotel room. She's got access to your card, she should-"

"Can't live her life for her, love."

"Despite my best attempts," she sighed dramatically, letting him know she was aware of how ridiculous the situation was. Castle was less worried about a boy than she was.

"Did she say anything about her residency?" he murmured, and she loved the way his voice tailed up as he hammed for Reese.

She cast her eyes to him over the top of the computer to see that goofy look on his face, smiled. "Just that she's excited about it. Great opportunity."

"Convenient for us too. Makes it look like I'm moving to Paris to be closer to her."

"Well," Kate drawled, trying to keep from laughing at him. "We are."

"Well. But."

"Our cover was almost blown in Sochi, sure, but it's not like Versailles was the obvious choice, Castle."

"You know the language."

"South of France might've been nicer," she hummed, lifting an eyebrow at him and stroking her foot along his calf.

He laughed, shot her one of those _be good_ looks, and went back to playing with Reese.

"But yes," she relented, sliding her foot under his thigh to keep her bare toes warm. "You're right. It does provide a good cover. I'm emailing her back-"

"Nothing about Karl-"

"Of course." But she was already typing - entirely bossy, but her perrogative, right? She wanted to be sure that Alexis knew it was a terrible idea to have sex with her ex, because he wasn't going to-

"Kate." His voice was an amused warning. "Don't even think about it. _Nothing_ about Karl."

Kate sighed heavily, pressed her finger to the delete key. How did he know? "Fine. Nothing about Karl."

* * *

"I have to pee," she muttered and trailed her fingers over his shoulder as she leveraged up out of the bed. They'd dozed with the baby between them for the last few hours, Kate opening her eyes from time to time to smile, feel stupid and shy and in love with him all over again, like they hadn't been doing this for years now.

"Shh," he murmured back, his eyes on Reese to make sure the baby hadn't woken.

Kate left their berth for the first class bathrooms, stumbling as she entered the swaying hall. Her feet felt funny under her, her balance not quite right. A wave of dizziness swept over her, from her head to her toes, a cascade of lightheadedness that had her fumbling at the wall for support. This was always what happened to her when she laid down for too long.

But they'd been curled up together, and it was so nice, and he'd stopped looking at her like she could break, and so she'd forgotten the price she'd have to pay.

She clutched the side of the walkway, found a convenient handhold there, metal and cool to the touch. She hung on until she could open her eyes without the ground pitching towards her, saw the door at the far end open and a woman come through. Their eyes met, a brief thing but enough, too much, and Kate forced herself to straighten up, tried not to let it show that she was - faltering.

Be honest, Kate. You're about to hit the floor.

Pride, for her, literally went before a fall.

She needed to stop pushing herself; it was too far. It was too far and she'd attract attention. She didn't think anyone would recognize them, and she really didn't think anyone doubted her death, but she wasn't about to take chances. Especially not when she'd just convinced Castle that they were safe.

Kate forced her body to move, fought off the feeling of weightlessness, and entered the bathroom, shut the door behind her before the woman could approach, ask if she needed help.

She wavered there for a long time, eyes closed, heart overworked and making her body shake with the force of it.

And then she gave in, slumped slowly to the floor until she could get her breath.


	10. Chapter 10

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

Reese liked her perch on his chest; he could tell. She kept lifting her head to look around, that dazed wonder at her own abilities. He laughed at it and Reese startled, her eyes coming to meet his, leaving him stunned now, amazed at her abilities too, amazed at _her_.

Here she was again, like that moment last night in the hotel room in Moscow. His daughter. Her own little personality already asserting itself, revealed to him in this moment. He could almost see her whole life strung out before him like a strand of pearls, one luminous iris after another.

"Hey, there, Reese. My beautiful strong girl." He stroked her hair with a light touch, smiled at the way her head bobbed against his hand. "Look what you can do."

That little mouth opened, grinning, and then she tried to raise a fist from his chest and her body collapsed back down again. He laughed and cuddled her, kissing the top of her head as she wavered, but she didn't push up again. She didn't seem to have the strength-

Kate.

Where was Kate?

She said bathroom, and of course, she could've gone back to the dining car for more cheese (she'd been moaning over every morsel), but he just. . .

She'd kill him if he came looking for her. More than that, he knew her anger would have a desperate and sorrowed edge to it, and that it would be his fault.

And then just at that moment, the door to their berth came open. He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, stroked his palm over Reese's back, kissing her again, felt her push against him to lift her head.

He needed a moment to make sure none of the worry was in his eyes.

"Rick-"

He jerked at the sound of her voice - thin and needy - and immediately was up, one arm against Reese's, her head cupped in his palm as he went for Kate.

She sank into him, and he felt her knees give, her weight suddenly full against him. He didn't say anything; it'd happened before and he knew what to do, but he was surprised by it now.

He slung his arm low around her waist, digging his fingers into her hip to keep her there. It was awkward, but it worked. She'd used up whatever energy she had to make it back to their berth, he guessed, and now she was struggling to stay balanced.

"Can you come with me towards the seat?" he murmured, figuring that was closer than the pull-down bed. Reese squirmed between him and Kate, but he really couldn't do anything about it.

"I'm - crushing Reese," she said, and in her voice was the breathlessness he hated.

"No, she's okay. Can you come with me?"

"I don't - know."

"Let's try it," he said, because the baby was made for a little bit of rough handling, but he didn't want to push it for long.

He stepped backwards, dragging her with him, and then awkwardly maneuvered them until the back of her legs hit the bench seat.

"Okay," she murmured. "Drop me."

He gave her a barely controlled descent, caught her by the back of the neck before she could hit the bench, Reese struggling now in his other arm. She hated to be trapped against his chest, his hand cradling her head; she wanted to move.

"Kate?"

"I'm okay," she murmured, and dragged her feet up onto the bench, her eyes closed. "Can't. Catch my breath."

He sank down on the bench, sitting in the cove made of her curled up body, his free hand at her hip, letting Reese slide down into his lap. Kate sucked in each respiration and spread her hand over his knee, fingers clenching with every inhale to let him know she still breathed.

Old habit, her giving him reassurance that she was making it. He was proud to realize he didn't need it any longer; he knew she'd tell him if it was worse, if she needed the inhaler, if she truly couldn't get a good breath in.

He waited, his hand squeezing her hip, waited until her eyes opened again. Her face was washed of color; he stroked the hair out of her eyes with gentle fingers.

"You okay here for a second?"

She nodded, mouth still open to breathe as deeply as she could force her lungs to comply, wordless in her response.

He stood up and took Reese to the carrier, strapped her in despite her immediate howling protest, no longer a happy baby. He stroked his finger down her nose, which always startled her enough to shut her up. It did the trick and she stared at him, bewildered by the sensation, and he leaned in to kiss her.

"Let me get Mommy. You hold your horses."

She managed to get a fist up and sock him as he turned away.

"I'm okay," Kate said. But he heard it in her voice; she was afraid. Probably of his reaction, probably of undoing whatever statement she'd managed to make earlier, afraid of what he might say now.

"I know," he said, and stroked his hand across her cheek, into her hair. He waited with her; he didn't want to move her until he could be sure.

"I'm really okay," she said again. Still fearful that he'd change his mind about them. He'd done that to her - he'd made her afraid to let him see it.

"I really believe you," he said, but he saw it wasn't enough to convince her.

Castle knew the routine - it always happened like this. Sudden changes were a shock to her system, made her dizzy and breathless. It was like her body couldn't handle it. If she had roamed the train all afternoon like she had this morning, then she built up an endurance.

Of course, he was the one who made her so tired this afternoon. So tired they'd just been hanging out in bed, Kate dozing when he should've made her get up and get moving, even though it went against everything in him.

"Would it be too much if we named him Xander?"

"What?" she murmured, her eyes on him.

"Alexis. Alexander. I think maybe we could make it work-"

"Too much," she said, but she was smiling at him. "Who says you'll get a boy?" She was breathless again, from talking probably, but he wasn't going to stop her. "You're so good at making girls."

He grinned back. "That'd be perfectly fine. I'm good at raising them too."

"Or letting them raise themselves," Kate added.

"Uh-huh, that too." She seemed confident once more, and she lifted a shaky hand to his neck, tugged on him to come closer.

He kissed the tip of her nose, like he'd done to Reese, and dropped his cheek against the seat.

"Want to move to the bed?"

"Yeah," she breathed out. It was coming easier now, he could tell.

Castle slid an arm under her neck, another behind her knees, and pulled her into his lap, still crouched beside the bench. From there it was easier to lift her up, standing as he did, making the awkward twist around the fold down table to their bed.

"Okay, nice and easy," he said softly, mostly to himself.

He was well-practiced in this kind of move. So was she. She didn't even put up a fight as he settled her.

"Killing you, isn't it?" she murmured, her head against the back wall, half propped up but smiling at him with her eyes closed as he helped her adjust.

"What's that?"

"Waiting this long to say _I told you so_."

"Where do you want me to start?" he laughed.

* * *

She was wiped out. She'd have to stay in bed until dinner, and then she'd have to go agonizingly slowly just to keep from doing it again, shocking her lungs into paralysis. At least, that had been the doctor's take on it - sudden exertion and stress made her lungs freeze.

Ridiculous.

She'd trapped herself now though, not moving around this afternoon like she should have. She'd be stuck here recovering, and then have to get up for dinner.

Kate opened her eyes and watched Castle for a moment more, the baby cradled in one arm, her little fingers on the bottle. They were all the way over on the bench seat, and she'd woken to find them having their sweet moment.

It was beautiful; it made her warm. She brushed her fingertips to her mouth and wished-

Well, why not? She wanted to cuddle up with them, she should.

If she stayed here for the rest of the evening, getting up for dinner was going to be heinous. And tomorrow morning would only be moderately better. But if she endured it now, if she let herself feel that panicked suffocation of her chest tightening and actually moved through it, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad tonight.

Kate tested her weight on her elbows, then carefully pushed up, saw Castle's gaze arrow straight to her, worried. She was shaky, but she'd be okay.

She dragged her feet to the floor, clutched the edge of the fold down table to stay upright.

"Kate." His voice was low as if in warning, but then he continued. "You got this."

His encouragement flared in her like heat; she was ashamed at how much she needed it, but she used it anyway, got herself slowly to her feet. She had to hang on to the table, and sitting down was more like falling, but she made it.

"Hey there," he said softly, and she realized that the sun had begun to set on the other side of the train, leaving them in a half-light that made shadows across his eyes.

"Hey yourself," she murmured back, leaned in to kiss his cheek. She stayed draped at his side, practically on his back, couldn't move away.

Castle was still feeding Reese, and the baby had that drowsy look to her face, mouth barely working, eyes in danger of falling shut. Kate curled an arm through Castle's and pressed her lips to his shoulder, taking in as deep a breath as she could get.

"Lungs don't sound too bad," he said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Trying to get yourself ready for dinner?"

She hummed agreement and felt him shift against her, the baby jostled by his movements. Reese's eyes flared open but slipped shut again, and Castle had his wrist cocked to take the bottle, freeing up his other arm. He untangled himself from her grip as well, then slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. His mouth skated hers.

"You slept for two hours," he said then.

Oh, damn. "Two?" It had felt like thirty minutes. She'd known though, watching him feed Reese, that it had to have been more than that. He was fluid about feedings; he liked to wait until Reese complained, but she knew he wasn't that fluid.

"Yeah. I could go get our dinner-"

"No."

"All right."

It was quiet between them, but she didn't think it was a hurtful silence, or a cracked one. They seemed to hold.

She snaked her hand down between them, stroked his thigh with her fingertips. He was a good man, and he knew how to adapt - which seemed vital to their relationship's survival. He'd been through more than anyone should have to when it came to her.

"Castle."

"Mm, yeah?"

She pressed her palm to his hip, spreading her fingers over his abs until she felt the flutter of his skin. She smiled. "I love you."

"You're just trying to get in my pants."

She laughed, and the baby woke, startled. "That could be true."

And then, of course, when Reese saw her mother, she only wanted Kate.

* * *

"Should I put her in the carrier in case. . .?"

Kate sighed. "No. I can make it. You won't have to scoop me up off the floor."

He made a noise and she glanced up, saw the disbelief on his face.

"Castle."

"I just - I'm not gonna be able to catch you, Kate, if you lose your balance and I've got Reese."

She fought hard to ignore the latent distrust in his voice. "I know."

He was silent, but he nodded, held out his hands for the baby. Kate untangled Reese's fingers from her earring, then her hair, and finally was able to give Castle their daughter. He held her like a football, her head cradled in his broad palm, tucked up to his chest, as he reached out his free hand for Kate.

She gave in and let him help her stand, found her legs shaky but serviceable. A song ran through her head, _And your legs aren't taking any more requests - those disobedient wrecks!_

Her body had rebelled, and she was only now getting it back under her totalitarian regime; it was a disobedient wreck, that was for sure.

"Kate?"

"Ah, yeah. Sorry, my mind wandered." There was that too; the lack of concentration. It was noticeable when she was tired.

"Tired?"

"Damn, it is so freaky when you read my mind," she muttered, but kissed him when he grinned at her.

They took the walk to the dining car slowly; Kate kept a hand fisted in his shirt as she walked behind him. He held Reese up against his shoulder, giving her mother the chance to make faces at her over Castle's broad back. Reese squirmed and bobbed her head, staring at Kate's antics.

Castle huffed and glanced at her. She pressed her lips together and moved away, lifting an eyebrow. He narrowed his eyes at her, rubbing Reese's back. "I know you two are doing something."

"Whatever do you mean?" she said, too innocently, but couldn't help the flicker of a grin.

He muttered but kept going, and Kate scrunched up her face and stuck her tongue out at Reese, and the baby gave her - oh, that beautiful, startled gasp that was almost a laugh. And then Kate widened her eyes and mimicked Reese and there it was.

A laugh for her mother.


	11. Chapter 11

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

He ate fast, thinking he'd need to spell her for a while, but Kate was loose and breathing easily enough with Reese in her lap. The baby sat still for her mother, still enough, like she knew Kate's limits and when not to push.

Of course, that wasn't true, and in probably fifteen minutes, Reese would be squirming to roll away - it was so clearly evident that she longed to _run_ if she only knew how - but for now, Castle enjoyed watching the two of them at peace in the booth across from him.

He slowed down when he got near the end of his medium rare steak, let himself savor it, as he knew Kate wanted him to, as he knew he should. He could tell by the look on Reese's face that she was struggling against sleep; he'd fed her the bottle late in the hopes that she'd conk out on them while they ate.

Kate hadn't even started her food, but she'd ordered a grilled chicken salad and she'd told him to get going, hers would keep. She snuggled with Reese, let the baby grip her hair, pull her face down close enough to grab.

She was right. This was everything they'd wanted back in New York, everything he'd thought had turned to ashes after he had slowly poisoned her.

He had poisoned her.

To save her life, their life, yes. But he had wrecked her body. And the most terrible part of it all was that he'd do it again, that he couldn't even be sorry for it, and the guilt of needing her that much was an ulcer in his soul.

Maybe she was right - maybe her forgiveness was the only forgiveness he needed. Maybe that absolved him, washed it clean. More than that, maybe the baby should be enough to let him know it was truly forgiven - the promise of new life and beginnings and some redeeming creative power.

He wanted to believe that was true, and at the same time, for her sake he _needed_ to believe it. He'd weigh her down with his guilt if he wasn't careful.

He already had. Time to take that burden off of her.

* * *

Kate was pleasantly surprised when Castle didn't try to take Reese away from her. She hadn't eaten, and he had just finished, but he sat across from them with that contented-cat look to his happy eyes and her heart flourished under it.

She curved her body around her little girl, felt the fingers uncurl at her ear, tangle in her hair, and she kissed the soft head, the fuzz of dark, smooth hair. Kate palmed the side of the girl's face, watched the baby lean into her hand like an instinctive reflex, cuddling.

They'd arrive in Berlin in the morning, but until then, they had the encroaching darkness and the thunderous dull roar of the train hurtling into the night.

And each other.

She lifted her head, wincing at the fingers still knotted in the strands, but gave Castle a smile as he watched them. His face was the lightest she'd seen it in. . .forever. Almost beaming at them. And here she was, some heliotropic bud, orienting to his warmth and ready to unfurl.

Ridiculous, how much she _enjoyed_ needing this man.

It was fun.

She had to break the connection of their gaze when Reese tried to lunge for the window; she caught her and brought the baby back to her chest. Kate dropped her lips to the girl's skull, brushed kisses over her. She remembered when Reese was born, the way her dark head of hair had been sticking straight up like a porcupine.

Kate's baby pictures had been the same; her father had remarked on it as well when he'd seen Reese, enamored of his granddaughter, already in love. Kate grinned as she squeezed the fat little belly, the rolls of her legs. Not as much fat as maybe most babies, definitely not as much as the pictures she'd seen of Castle-

She lifted her head to smirk at him and caught the hot flare of his eyes on her. It was powerful, it was back. They were back.

"You need to eat," he said gruffly and she knew it wasn't just a reminder, it wasn't just concern.

It was for later.

"Yeah," she said, and instead of asking him to take his daughter, she wrapped an arm around Reese's belly and snaked a hand out for her fork.

Just like every other mom, she'd eat and hold her kid. Because she could.

* * *

"You ever been to Vienna?" he mused, watching the twilight blur by the window, trying to distract himself from thinking about all he wanted to do to her.

"Once. For about four hours. Waiting on a train. It made me sad, but it filled me up too."

"There's a song."

"I know it," she murmured, and he glanced over at her to see her struggling to spear a cherry tomato while Reese lunged for her fork. He didn't move to help.

He waited, and then she found the strand of her thought, and the tomato, and lifted her eyes to him as she chewed.

Reese flopped back against Kate's chest, sleepy and rubbing her head against her mother. He watched Kate's hand splayed at Reese's torso, the way she set up a counter-rub with the rhythmic motions of her thumb, easing the girl just like that.

Kate bit into another tomato. "It seemed sad and beautiful. From what I saw."

"I thought so too. But it's amazing. Resilient. Survived Hitler and bombing and Soviet occupation and-"

"And the West," she added, flicking a look at him. "But it's just a city."

"I'd like to go."

"We should," she said quietly, quickly, as if he'd change his mind.

"Paris first," he half-grinned at her, his words caught in the tumble of his mouth. She only smiled at him, nodding, going along with it.

It'd been a long time since they made plans just for the sake of traveling. Pleasure. Being together.

"I want to go to Italy," she said then, her fork paused with a bite of chicken and egg and lettuce and cheese - a good-looking bite, but she was eyeing him instead.

"Italy," he repeated, relishing it. "All of Italy or some place specifically?"

"All," she said, and her eyes were light, and childlike as well.

"Huh."

"We're loaded," she said back to him, casual. "We can afford it."

He grinned. "That's true."

"Roma. Firenze."

He laughed. "Your English is slipping."

She shrugged back. "English is the same as French. Not as fun. Except Venice. Then it's Venise. I like that."

He was still chuckling, watching her mull over the languages, the beautiful tilt of her head, the almost unconscious way she kept the baby upright.

"So Rome, Florence, Venice. Milan? Sicily?"

"The Greek Isles," she added, a dreamy look on her face. Kate Beckett, dreamy. Wow.

"Greek Isles - Santorini. I think that's the only one I know."

"I want a blue door and a white wall and a pot of red flowers outside, with the Mediterranean just a few crooked, steep steps beyond."

"We'll do that," he breathed, able to see the vision immediately, just as she described it. "Reese would love the water."

"She'd love to go sailing, the boat and the wind."

They both smiled down at Reese, the baby giving them one of those coincidental smiles back, or maybe she really did know, could sense it between them, felt the shift of wine in the sunlight and Italian food, Greek island blue doors and red geraniums.

"Hey, peanut," he murmured, leaning in close to the table so she could see him. Her eyes didn't quite track his face, but she was trying. "Hey, stop squirming so momma can eat."

"She's been patient," Kate hummed. He watched her press another kiss to the top of Reese's head. "You want her?"

"I like looking at you," he said in return, hoped that's what she meant when she made it into a question.

She smiled again, that drowsy thing that made the darkness press up from his chest, wanting out of him, wanting to escape, no longer able to inhabit him. She made him feel good again.

It'd been a while.

"Hey," she said then, her thumb at her teeth, fork dangling.

"Hey," he replied back, easy with it, certain. He let his eyes fall to his daughter.

Reese was blinking furiously to keep from falling asleep, and Kate crooked her arm across the little body, let the baby's head fall against her elbow, and then just like that she was gone.

"Hey, look," he said softly, felt the way his whole face cracked and broke open, smiling. "She's asleep."

He lifted his gaze to share it with her and Kate was smiling back.

* * *

Castle loomed over her in the booth, cupped his fingers around her jaw before he gently tugged Reese from the sweaty cocoon of Kate's body. When the baby was gone, Kate pulled her shirt from her chest, puffed it out to get some air flowing, dry the wet place left by her heavily sleeping daughter.

Castle was laughing at her. She didn't care. Sweaty badge of honor.

He waited in the aisle for her and she took a careful inventory of her body as she slowly moved down the bench seat. Her legs were fine, not shaky right this moment, and her arms were jittery with the hour she'd spent holding Reese. She'd be fine to walk. She'd keep a hand on the wall for balance.

He helped her up, and she needed it, but he walked ahead of her down the slightly swaying corridor and she liked the trust inherent in it. It's not like she wouldn't tell him - it's not like she hadn't, on many occasions, sat down in the middle of a hallway or a market or an elevator and made him go on without her, get Reese someplace safe or to the housekeeper or in her crib and then come back for Kate.

Over and over.

She reached out and tucked her fingers into the waistband of his suit pants, enjoyed the ripple of muscle she felt as he moved. Or maybe because of her touch. She felt the strange urge to stretch, wide and tall, pull her body apart and then let it come back together.

But she couldn't quite do that without burning off her reserves of energy, so she contented herself with tilting her neck side to side, flexing her fingers.

Castle stopped at their berth and opened the door one-handed, kept it open for her to pass through. It was a narrow squeeze and it pressed her body against his as she tried to avoid jostling the sleeping Reese; his eyes dilated with a sudden flare that made her strong.

Strong. Not weak. She hadn't felt that flash of triumph and need melded together in so long. She wanted him. Again.

Oh, again. That was a beautiful word too. _Encore. _

Again, again. It was almost impossible to believe she was able to _want_ to do it again, even more insane that she had the energy for it, if they were slow, if he did most of the work, if-

Her fingertips tingled with want, her lips were buzzing. She watched him cradle Reese and tenderly put her in the baby carrier, strap her in, the seat secured to the floor of the train with the mini-bungee cord things he'd bought just for this trip.

When he turned back around, she didn't even have to say anything. He came straight for her, slid his hands down her sides instead of in an embrace, wrapped his fingers around the back of her thighs.

"Oh yes," she murmured, felt it escape her lips without her okay, renegade and lovely.

He came in closer, nuzzled his cheek to hers, then noses, then the bump of their mouths as he sought her.

She touched her tongue to the seam of his lips and slid inside.

* * *

He watched her blink in the darkness of their berth, the rocking motion pushing her body into his; he curled his arm tighter around her, pressed a kiss to her shoulder. Outside the window, the night was split by the running seam of homes lighted against the darkness.

She smelled like their home, wherever that was, the place they'd made together. She was a seam of light, the only light, beautiful and necessary.

"You still awake?" she murmured.

"Are you?"

She hummed and shifted onto her back, kept him right where he was with an arm hooked around his neck. She was smiling. "I should sleep. But I feel good - I don't want to waste it on sleep."

He grinned, some small amount of pride for that, dropped a kiss to her lovely, smiling mouth.

"You should sleep," he said softly at her lips. "Reese will probably wake soon."

She grinned against his lingering kiss, her fingers kneading his neck. "You know I have no problem sleeping right through. You can get her, Daddy."

"Oh, thank you," he laughed. "You're so considerate."

She hummed. "Well, you do know I'm still recovering."

He laughed louder, surprising even himself with how _light_ he felt at her tease, stroked his fingers at her hip in reminder. She huffed and her hips jerked, still sensitive to him.

"Uh-huh," he grinned. "Still recovering."

She chuckled, keeping the sound in her throat, her lips pressed together. "Don't let it go to your head."

He grinned at that, how dirty it sounded, and she shook her head against him, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. She probably did. He didn't even have to say it.

Her hand smoothed down his back and then up again, down once more, slow and deliberate, easing his body. He let himself settle close at her side, his chin on her shoulder, wrapped his arm loosely at her waist. He could feel her breathe, deep and slow, a good sound, a reassuring sound.

"I could sleep now," she said finally, softly, her voice a ribbon in the darkness.

When he lifted his head to look, she had her eyes closed. He smiled and dropped his head back to the pillow.

"Not if I beat you to it. Then _you_ will have to get up with the baby."

She laughed out loud at that; he felt the ripple of her amusement, her joy, traveling under his arm and making his fingers vibrate. It felt right.

It finally felt right.

"We'll take her in shifts," she whispered. "Partners."

He pressed his mouth to her shoulder, eyes closed, took a long breath in, cleansing.

"Partners," he agreed. And this time he believed it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

She was dragged out of sleep by a male grunt, a shifting body; she blinked rapidly in the darkness to orient herself, assaulted by both sound and a vague sense of wrong.

"Reese," she murmured instinctively, a moment before the noise coalesced into her daughter's little hungry grunts. Castle was draped over her, but he had only just stirred; he wasn't awake.

It took an effort to untangle herself from him; mostly his legs were tripping her up, snaked around hers in impossible ways. She brushed her fingers over his forehead as he frowned in his dreams, managed to extricate herself just as Reese's noises picked up.

Stumbling on sleep-numb legs towards the baby carrier, she dropped to her knees before the girl, stroking a finger at her cheek and getting that automatic sucking reflex in response. Reese grunted at her for it, not liking to be teased, and Kate smiled back as she loosened the restraints and eased the baby out.

Reese nuzzled her, rooting for milk, but Kate hadn't even pulled the formula out yet. "Sorry, peanut," she murmured. "Should've done that first."

Kate debated putting her back in the carrier while she made up a bottle, but then decided against it, choosing instead to cradle Reese close with one arm while she dug in the bag for the formula.

Reese grunted again, her little fists hitting at her mother, and Kate dropped a kiss to the top of her head, murmured for her to wait. The bag was on the floor, so she could nestle Reese on her legs while she sank down, used two hands.

"Okay, okay. I know," she murmured. "You're so hungry but you don't cry, peanut butter." She fished out the bottle, finally, and pried off the top from the cannister of formula. "Why's that, Reese? Just too much like daddy? Easy-going and relaxed and happy? You stay that way."

Reese's eyes tracked her mother's movements in the darkness, fists waving, feet kicking in excitement at getting fed. Kate laughed as she added the scoops of formula to the water they'd pre-filled in the bottles, then screwed on the top and plugged the nippled with her finger, shook it up.

Reese was practically bouncing on Kate's lap; she had to put an elbow in her belly to keep her stable while she shoved the can of formula back in the bag and shook the bottle.

She stayed right where she was, hunched on the floor, and popped the nipple in the girl's greedy mouth. Reese sucked hard and squirmed, hands knocking at the plastic before settling, curled around her mother's forearm, holding on as best she could.

Kate watched her feed, stroked two fingers over the baby's soft hair, over her forehead, down to her nose. Reese broke off to give her a grin around the bottle, making Kate's breath catch in her throat.

"Hey there, my girl. How happy you are."

Reese was already back at it, and Kate slid an arm under her neck, got her body close so she could stand up from the floor. She swayed with the motion of the train, but she was steady, and she moved towards the bench seat to snuggle with her daughter.

When she got comfortable, she felt the slow drag of weariness against her arms, her shoulders, but she was still okay. She had her legs pulled up on the seat so she could prop Reese on her thighs; she'd learned ways to work around the muscle fatigue. She was inordinately proud of herself for that - she wouldn't have to ask for help tonight.

"Stop looking smug."

Kate startled and glanced over at Castle, saw him watching them from the bed. He was still sleep-drugged, his face mashed into the pillow, but evidently she hadn't been able to stay quiet enough. He was definitely awake. And watching.

"You were supposed to get first shift," she murmured, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, didn't I say? Not it."

She only shook her head at him, glanced back down to their daughter as she suppressed her amusement. Reese was so alive, so aware in this moment; she pulled at the bottle and her little fingers flicked against the plastic, over and over, the noise soothing in a strange way. Her daughter's eyes fell intently on Kate's, roamed her face, came back to meet her gaze. She was strong and vital and amazing.

"You gonna make me get all the way out of my warm bed and come over there?" he whined. "I want to see you both."

Kate glanced up again, smiled at him, adorable in his childishness in a way that only four in the morning and holding her infant could make him. She hesitated only a moment, only long enough to calculate the odds of her arms holding out long enough for the trek back to his side, before she stood up slowly and went to him.

She watched his face as she did, expecting that wary and itching need to _help_ come over him, but it didn't. He didn't even move, just watched her sleepily, one arm out in the space where she used to be.

"You're gonna have to get up," she said.

"No. You just sit right here," he countered.

She raised an eyebrow at that, but he was right; she had room to lean against the side of their fold down bed. She just wouldn't have the back of it to prop herself up.

Maybe he was doing that on purpose. Pushing her. Hmm, okay.

Kate put a careful knee to the mattress - cushions really - and then slid in beside him all in one movement, not thinking about it too long. Her natural grace carried her through and she found herself with Castle's mouth at her hip, his arm snaking around her waist - a perfect ledge to rest Reese on.

He grinned up at her, turned his head back to press a kiss to the skin where her shirt had ridden up.

"You planned that," she said softly, using one hand to feather her fingers through his hair.

He sighed and closed his eyes. "I had hoped."

It worked. She didn't need the back of the berth to act as a pillar of support when she had his arm beneath hers, easing the ache already building in her shoulders. Her biceps were even okay, and Reese didn't seem to care one way or the other.

Kate scraped her nails at his scalp in reward and he hummed, but she could tell he was already falling back asleep.

"Teamwork," she whispered, and smoothed her thumb at his eyebrow over and over, easing him to sleep.

* * *

Breakfast was in Berlin. The train made an hour long stop and the Berlin-HBF station was all arching beams and open light; Kate couldn't resist, so they got off to find food.

"It's like a mall in here," Castle laughed, watching her as she adjusted Reese in the sling.

She wasn't watching what she was doing though; she was glancing down the massive main track towards the variety of food and shopping available. "There's a Dunkin Donuts. And Starbucks. Oh, wow, I crave Starbucks, Castle. Do you think it will taste like New York?"

"No. But worth a shot." He reached out and balanced the baby as she struggled with it. She didn't even seem to take note of his help, just accepted it and got Reese where she needed the girl.

"No, let's not. We should do something more native. Oh, look, it's like a food truck," she laughed, wrapping her arm through his. The baby was snug against her, he could tell, so he forced himself to stop hovering.

"You have this strange and sudden nostalgia - food trucks and Starbucks. What's up?"

"No, not really. Just surprised by how much this place reminds me of - well, the States. And I don't know much German, just some high school language classes, so the signs in English are lovely."

"They've got French too."

She just hummed at him and then laughed, her eyes tripping past his shoulder. "Oh, there's Burger King."

"Ew, no. I want breakfast. Something German-y."

"Ohh, Castle, look. Montblanc. I think it's calling your name."

"Not my name. I type. You're crazy if you think I'm going to hand-write-"

She shoved on him and he stumbled away, not expecting the force of it, but still pleased by it, stupidly so. He grinned at her as he came back to her side, pressed a quick kiss to her cheek so he wouldn't crush Reese between them.

"Let's do the food truck," he said. "Looks good, smells good too."

"Yeah. This one. Brötchen." She started for a kind of trailer with an open side, the food displayed in rows like an old-fashioned newsstand. It offered baked, crunchy rolls layered with cheese and meats - like a sandwich but hardier.

Castle took his time deciding, scanned the selection as Kate jumped right in and ordered. In German, of course, because his wife was entirely more fluent than she claimed when it came to languages.

The woman inside the truck kept making noises at Reese, clucking sounds meant to indicate her approval or fascination with the baby, and Kate took it in stride, smiling back and using her smooth-sounding high-school vocabulary. There was some laughter and Kate reached out to take him by the arm, hooking him close with a grin.

"She wants to know if you're ready to order," she said.

"Uh, man, everything smells wonderful. Ask her what's her favorite."

And out of Kate's mouth came: "_Er möchte wissen, welches Sie am besten mögen._"

Yeah, high school language, my ass, he thought. "I hate you a little."

Kate laughed and the woman beamed at him, and then her response came at him like low density buckshot, wild and scattered, none of it really hitting its mark: "_Hier, probieren Sie dieses._"

He had no idea what she'd said, but she was already wrapping up two thick rolls in a brown bag and handing over black coffee. Kate sipped at hers and gave a throaty groan that had the base of his spine tightening in response.

"Oh this is good. Rick, this is so good. It's flavored. You don't even need any sugar."

He highly doubted that. Ever since she was. . .raised from the dead, her taste buds had changed. It was mostly with things naturally caustic or bitter - coffee, dark chocolate, even orange juice. She said they tasted sweet.

He took a hesitant sip, but she was right. Well, no, it needed sugar, but the flavor was rich and masked most of the sharpness. "This is good."

"Yeah, told you. Poor Reese. Baby, you are missing out. Daddy and I will drink coffee while you're stuck with formula. Then we'll make a gourmand out of you."

Kate was juggling the brown bag with their breakfast and her coffee as well, so Castle took the bag as he filled his cup with a couple packets of brown sugar. When Kate headed towards a table to sit, he followed, already peeking inside the bag.

His sandwich roll was hard with seeds covering the bread, filled with salami, tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, and was that slices of hard-boiled egg? Smelled heavenly. He had it out of the bag and was taking a huge bite before he even made it to the table.

Kate laughed at him and snagged the bag back from him, pulled out her own. She crumpled the brown bag flat and spread it out to use as a placemat, letting seeds fall as she ate her own.

He took another large bite and chewed slowly, letting the smoky flavor burn on his tongue. Then Castle turned back and went to the cart, raised his roll up with a grin. "Danke schön."

It was the only German he knew, and the woman looked so happy with him that she actually applauded. He ducked in embarrassment and turned back to Kate only to find her laughing, a hand over her mouth, her eyes dark and beautiful and alive.

And proud. Proud of him.

It filled him up.

* * *

Castle took her hand as they walked slowly back towards their track, fingers nudging into hers before sliding through. She bumped hips with him and pressed their shoulders together at every opportunity, the sun warm on her face through the clear glass, the baby in the sling heavy across her shoulders and back. But good. It was good.

"Tell me about the place in Versailles," she said, squeezing his fingers.

"You saw it on the website."

"Yeah, but tell me the story, Castle. Duh."

He chuckled, and she could feel him turn to look at her but she kept her eyes ahead.

"It's a former Royal Hospital. Hôpital Richaud - did I say that right?"

She hummed, a smile splitting her lips. "Close enough. You're much better at it than you pretend to be. Don't think I haven't caught on."

"Ah." He laughed again, a soft sigh. "But you sound so much sexier than me when you speak a foreign language. I'd rather just listen to you. Even German, and that's saying something."

"You sound pretty sexy yourself," she said, turning her head to look at him. A slight flush stained his neck, not embarrassment but maybe a faint arousal, and it made her reckless enough to jerk on his arm, pull him into her so she could nip her teeth at his jaw.

He grunted, but he was too slow to catch her - wasn't that a first? - and she stepped away, easing Reese with a hand in the sling as she did.

"Can't be doing that in public," he muttered to her. "Trying to wind me up?"

She only grinned down at the baby, her hand on Reese's belly and bouncing her a little.

They ambled past their car, but kept going, enjoying the walk; they had twenty minutes before they'd need to reboard.

"Back to my story, Rick," she said, nudging him again.

"Okay, so. The Hospital was ordered as a house of charity by Louis the Fourteenth to treat workers who were involved with construction of the castle."

"Seriously?" she laughed, her eyes jerking up to meet his. He grinned and she bumped his hip again, a little harder. "Stop looking so smug."

"I'm just pleased I found another royal establishment, really."

"Inordinately pleased."

"You want the story or to continue denigrating the storyteller?"

"Oh, choices, choices, Ricky-"

"Uh-huh." But through the air of offense, she saw the way he - well, bloomed. Terrible word for it, but he was lighter, easier for their banter. It helped keep him going, she saw.

"So. Former Royal Hospital. And now?"

"In 2010, they began construction on making the historic site into a set of luxury residences."

"Hm, luxury-"

"Don't start. They have amazing security."

She only shrugged, gave him a look. "Just because I want to get back to where we were before, Castle, doesn't mean I want to go back to old arguments. Luxury? I've been living in a Russian castle for the last two years. Big fat whatever."

He laughed, and she saw tears in his eyes as he did. He was startled so badly, it seemed, that he couldn't even keep walking. She waited on him, eyebrow raised, and he had to bend over with his hands on his knees and catch his breath.

"Take deep breaths, Rick. You sound like me."

That only made him laugh harder, and people were starting to stop and look at them, so she put her hand on his shoulder and turned him around, guided them back to their car.

"Oh my," he wheezed. "Oh my word."

"Oh my word?" she mocked. "Really. Well then, Reese, Daddy is apparently unable to use grown-up expressions-"

The last of her statement was cut off by the brutal grip of his hand around her arm and his mouth on hers, roughly sealing them together. She came up smiling, felt a little wicked for all of it, and so kissed him again with a hint of her teeth.

"You're vicious this morning," he growled.

"Only because I love you." And then because that seemed too sappy, even spoken so glibly, she grinned and stepped in close, her mouth at his ear. "And because, Rick Castle, last night you rocked my world."

He let out a strangled noise, half amusement and half pure need, but she pulled away and took his hand instead, tugged him back onto their train car.

Reese was getting heavy and seemed anxious to be out of the sling.


	13. Chapter 13

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

They left the bed down, Castle hinting suggestively at her when he straightened the sheets and drew the blanket up. He meant it and he didn't mean it - just like any guy, because if she wanted to have sex again, he wasn't saying no, but he didn't need it or anything.

Okay, well, if she kept teasing him - dirty and saucy and demanding like that - then yeah, okay, he might need it. But for now, it was exciting to be on the train in the morning light and play with his baby and watch Kate surf the internet for furniture.

"How about this?" she murmured, handing the ipad over to him.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "We are both too tall for a couch that sits directly on the floor. And I'm too old. And you're too feeble."

"Shut up," she muttered, kicking at his calf with her foot. She had one end of the bed, he had the other, their legs tangling in the middle while Castle fed Reese.

He handed the ipad back to her and she leaned in to take it, but stayed there, her palm pressed into his thigh as she hovered over Reese. Her hair was at her shoulders now and so dark as she bent down to kiss the baby; the light spilling through the window only made it look glassy and smooth, a lake of obsidian.

Castle reached out and touched a curling strand, combed his fingers back to her temple to see her face. She lifted her eyes and the image was both erotic and sacred at the same time - one superimpsoed over the other so that he could barely breathe.

"I know, I know. I need a shower. You do too, buddy."

He laughed and shook his head. "Not. No. Not what I was thinking. But yeah, I need a shower. You want to go first while I finish this?"

"No, actually-" She paused and sat back. "I kinda want to just hang out for a while."

He had a fleeting thought that she was saving up her energy, but he ignored it and let it be.

"Okay, well, I will then." He didn't let the question temper his voice, only kept his eyes on Reese as she sucked down the last of the bottle, her little gaze startling back to his every time he spoke. "You almost done, peanut?"

He heard the derisive snort from Kate but ignored it, spoke to his tiny little girl instead.

"Mommy might not like it, but I heard her using your nickname last night. Isn't that right? We both did. And it's perfect - even Mommy must know it's perfect. Cause you are just as cute and fat as a Reese's peanut butter cup. You-"

"Stop it already," Kate groaned. "The baby talk is killing me."

He laughed and met her eyes, felt smug at the flush he saw on her face. "Well, well, Kate Rodgers, are you turned on by my baby talk?"

"No," she spat out, shaking her head.

"Uh-huh."

"Baby talk is _not_ attractive. It's silly. Talk to her like a person, Castle."

"Well, that flush up your neck and the way your eyes keep flicking down to look at my mouth tell me a different story."

"Oh shut up," she groaned. He laughed as she pressed a hand over her eyes, felt Reese kicking against his chest in a demand for attention.

"Oh, hey now. You're gonna have to be good," he murmured, kissing the top of her head. "Sometimes Mommy is all I can look at, peanut."

"Castle."

He grinned down into the baby's answering grin, watched her long lashes move up and down as she finished off the last of the formula. He hadn't realized before but those lashes were Kate's too - long and thick, almost unnatural on a baby.

"Go take a shower, you big dope." She was reaching forward and scooping Reese right out of his arms, popping the bottle from her mouth as she did. "Stop making me blush."

He laughed, saw Reese turn her head to look for him at the sound. "Fine. I'll shower, but you have to find a couch that's entirely more appropriate. Find one like the one you had at your place. I loved that couch."

"A nap-sized couch?"

"Yeah," he sighed, lifting his feet off the bed and standing up. "Perfect. Get on that, woman."

She kicked at the back of his knee as he walked past her for the door; his leg buckled but he stayed upright, glared at her over his shoulder as he gathered his dopp kit.

"I'm going. See, Reese? This is how mean your mother is."

She kicked out at him again, and the flash of her long leg towards him, the strength implicit in the movement - it suddenly swamped him right where he stood, his heart mired in it and drowning facedown.

But instead of getting choked up and weepy and being a girl, he took his case of toiletries and opened the door, heading for the bathroom.

He thought he could hear Kate's caught breath finally release, sighing out into the space of their cabin in relief.

* * *

She found a couch she liked, a vibrant and obnoxious teal that Castle would surely hate, but it came in a rich, dark chocolate as well - nice lines, deep seats, a little low to the ground but definitely long enough to nap.

While Castle took his sweet time in the shower, Kate went searching for chairs. He'd want them to match, and she hated that, so a compromise would be hard to find. She wanted to swing back to something more traditional and perhaps even patterned, but he'd complain that the couch didn't go, and really, she ought to have married someone who didn't have an opinion about every little-

Reese grunted at her and Kate glanced over, wrinkling her nose in exaggeration at the baby. "Okay, okay. I smell you. Lovely. You couldn't have waited for Daddy?"

Reese gave her another one of those gummy grins, sweet cheeks and smiling eyes, and Kate sighed but she'd been melted. Reese kicked her legs on the bed, a fist around her ladybug toy and swinging it. Every time the thing got close to her face, Reese blinked furiously, flinching as she expected it to land. It was entirely adorable.

"You've made me soft, peanut," she muttered, leaning over and gobbling at Reese's neck, kissing her as Reese abandoned the toy and clung to her mother's hair.

Kate grunted and lifted her head, eyes at her daughter's level, and slowly unwound strands of hair from the little fingers. "Hey, baby, let me go so I can change you."

Reese waved her arms and grinned again, but Kate managed to extricate herself and ran her finger over the baby's nose.

"Let's see what I can do," she murmured, sliding slowly out of the bed and making for the diaper bag.

* * *

"Whoa, what is that smell?"

Kate held out one of the biodegradable bags they'd brought along for the diapers; it dangled from two fingers and swayed with the motion of the train. He put a hand over his mouth and tried not to gag.

"Nasty."

"Hurry. Get it out of here."

"The people on this train are going to hate us," he muttered, taking the thing and turning back around to the hall. He found the trash chute, but decided against it, taking it to one farther away from their berth. This was the shortest leg of their trip, but he didn't want to end up smelling that for another eight hours.

When he returned, Kate and Reese were back in the bed, and she'd done something to make it smell like flowers.

"What is that?"

"My lotion." She murmured, lifting an eyebrow as he wrinkled his nose. "Better than it was."

"Why couldn't you have sprayed that vanilla-cherry-"

"I told you, Castle. I ran out."

"We gotta get more of that stuff. It's-"

"No," she told him, shaking her head. "I think Reese was allergic to it. Her neck was-"

"Ohhh," he sighed. "That's right. I forgot. Darn. That was my favorite." He sank down onto the bench seat and pulled the tshirt off over his head; he'd had to change back into the clothes he wore down to the bathroom.

"How were the showers?" she murmured, watching him.

He went a little slower, just to give her a nice long look, and saw her lips smirk at him for it. "Good actually. Really clean."

"Oh good," she sighed. "I was afraid. . ."

"You brought shower shoes, though, right?"

"Of course." Kate leaned in over Reese, her smile shifting into that wide, expressive, goofy thing that he loved. Reese kicked her feet on the bed and reached up for Kate's mouth, catching her hair, her lips.

Castle watched for a second, trapped by it, and then shook himself free and pulled a clean shirt out of their bag and on over his head. He shucked his shorts in favor of crisp jeans, and straightened the legs as he stood.

When he got closer to them on the bed, Kate lifted her head and smiled at him, raised her hand and finger-combed his hair as he sat down. She cupped his cheek, then patted it.

"Looking good, handsome. My turn now."

"Oh good, whew. You need it. I wasn't sure how to say. . ."

She laughed and kissed his forehead as she rose, all smooth movements. "Cute."

She passed him on the way to their bag, digging into the bottom for her shower stuff. He'd left his out on the table to make sure everything would dry before he zipped it closed and packed it.

She was bent over, on her knees on the floor, her ass lifted as she propped herself up with one hand against the bench seat. He took a moment to appreciate the view and then turned to Reese.

"Hey, I found a couch," Kate called.

With a hand on the baby's belly, he glanced over his shoulder to his wife. She was moving for the door, a pile of clothes in her hands, her bag of toiletries on top.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup, I left the page up. And a couple different armchairs, which I know you're gonna hate but just hear me out."

"Go take a shower. I'll buy the couch."

She grinned and blew him a kiss, easing out of their berth.

Castle turned back to Reese and made a face at the baby. "Who knew she was so good at spending money, huh, peanut?"

* * *

She had to put a hand out to the shower wall after ten minutes; the heat and exertion were getting to her. She rinsed her hair and closed her eyes, took deeper breaths. The humid air actually helped, and her lungs felt full for the first time since she'd boarded the train. At the castle, she'd always closed herself up in the bathroom and run the water, let the steam get so thick she couldn't see herself in the mirror.

Always worked. She'd be good for a few hours, and she wouldn't have to use the inhaler.

Kate eased the water off and stepped gingerly to the corner, grabbing her towel from the hook. She made slow movements, didn't hurry, kept herself on pace, let her breathing stay natural, deep as she could manage. She'd learned, after all this time.

When she was dry enough, she slid on underwear, carefully, a hand out to the wall for balance as she stepped out and in again of the shower shoes. She hooked on her bra and her arms were quivering, but her knees were holding; she'd be okay.

She got dressed, slowly, kept her mind off the way her body still wasn't completely under her control. Couch was good; Castle would like it - the brown one, not the teal. The chairs - she could convince him, especially once they got there and had nothing to sit on. He'd want something deep enough to cuddle up in - the two of them together; he was like that.

Mm, and she kinda liked it.

Castle had already ordered their bed before they left. Everything in the castle stayed with the castle - most of it was previous owners' furniture; even if it wasn't exactly original with the house, it was still ancient and probably on some historic preservation list somewhere.

Oh, bedding. Comforter, sheets, curtains on the windows - some of that stuff she'd have to wait to get until she could had a feel for the place. Reese's crib they'd sent on ahead of them, as well as all of her accessories - linens, clothes, pacifiers, bottles, high chair, the other carrier, the swing, the floor time play thing, the saucer, the stuffed animals. . .

Kate wanted to find new furniture, new touches, for the baby's room anyway. It wouldn't be in a castle any more, and from what she'd seen of the photos online, it was a rather post-modern design - all sleek lines and open air and white finishings.

Kate stepped out of the showers and back down the hallway with her stuff, trying to match color schemes in her head with what furniture they had already. She opened the door to their berth and found Castle stretched out across the bed, Reese lying on top of his chest, the ipad propped up on the baby.

"Rick," she laughed.

He turned his head and grinned at her. "I don't like your chairs. Finding new ones."

"Castle," she groaned, dropping her stuff on top of the bag.

"They're flowery. I don't want flowery-"

"They are not flowery. There's no flowers even on them."

"The pattern was all - oh. I guess those aren't flowers. But it's. . .flowery still. And so severe-looking. You know that really deep armchair you had at your place-"

"Castle, I can't recreate my living room for you," she muttered, crawling over his legs to lie down beside him. She put her hand on Reese's back and saw the baby had fallen asleep with the ipad propped on her diapered bottom.

"No, I'm not saying recreate your living room. I just really loved that style. This to me is so. . .Hamptons?"

"I liked the Hamptons house," she murmured, nestling her head against his shoulder.

"Hair's wet," he said suddenly, reaching across his chest to scrape his fingers through it. She slapped his hand away. "I just mean. . .I guess I got used to the castle in Russia. And the heavy feel of it. . .I don't know. But we'll be living in Versailles. And your old place. . .that's the kind of style it should be."

She shifted to glance at him, struck suddenly by how honest he was being. Vulnerable. He wanted it and he didn't know why he wanted it, but he was sharing that with her.

"Okay," she said softly. "Then Ikea's out. Find something else."

"I did," he said, and proudly switched pages. "And by the way, I saw what you did with that couch. I ordered the brown one. Teal my ass."

She chuckled, stroking her fingers over Reese's back softly. As the webpage loaded Kate let her eyes close for a moment, breathing in the scent of wet hair, soap, and the baby.

He nudged her and she opened her eyes, saw an atrocious wingback chair in red velvet on the screen. "No. No, Castle. That is hideous."

"Aw, come on-"

"A hundred times no. You saw the couch. How in the world did you think this would be good with it?"

"Yeah, the couch is kinda just. . .boring."

"It's not boring," she defended. "Besides, you nixed the teal one. And so it's an entirely different style-"

"I know, but-"

"No. Find something else. Just put in 'easy chair' and see what images we get."

He huffed at her but did as she asked, typing with his pinky finger raised in the air like she'd seen him do time and time again. Always made her smile to see it. One of his little quirks.

"Oh, look at that one-" he laughed. "It has words all over the fabric."

"Maybe for your office," she hedged. It was - rather loud. Not the loud she liked either. She let her eyes trail over the images. And then it struck her-

"Oh, this one!" Castle said at the same time she was reaching out to tap the image.

He was tapping the same one.

She grinned at him, eyebrow raised, and the deep leather chair loaded on the screen. It had modern wooden legs, a deep seat, and a plush, distressed looking leather back.

"Perfect," he sighed.

"Yeah, I really like it."

"Willadsen. Danish. Hmm, I wonder if they deliver?" Castle murmured.

Kate closed her eyes and let him figure that out, felt his arm move against her as he searched. The baby twitched in her sleep under Kate's palm and she let her eyes drift open to look. Reese's mouth pursed and released, her lips parted on a sigh that Kate could feel.

"Got it. I can buy it online and they'll ship. Awesome."

Kate murmured something like approval and closed her eyes again, listened to the quiet of the train - a white noise that was lulling. No wonder Reese kept dropping off to sleep; it was hypnotic and soothing, almost like being rocked.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me."

"Get two chairs," she said back, eyes still closed.

He laughed. "Yeah, okay."

"I like them."

"I do too. I'll get two. You really want two matching-"

"No. But one of those could go in our room. Or the office, actually. Or Reese's room. I don't know. We have a lot floor space to fill and almost no furniture, Castle. It's bothering me."

"I can tell," he laughed, and she felt his lips glance across her forehead.

"You're laughing at me."

"A little bit, yeah."

"Your fault," she muttered, lifting her head and nipping at his jawline. His fingers came up and tangled in her hair.

When she lifted her eyes to look at him, there was only a little silly indignation; his gaze was clear of that guilt she'd seen the past few years. Gone. A few hours on a train, and it was gone. Finally.

Kate lifted up on her elbows and kissed him, her mouth open, her tongue slipping between his lips and inside. He grunted in surprise but tightened his fingers in her hair and kissed back, drawing her deeper, and she went, lost herself in the feel of him, the taste.

When he tugged on her hair to draw her back, she slipped wetly from his mouth and sucked in air, her eyes locked on his, her lungs contracting, expanding tightly.

She traced her fingers over his lips as she caught her breath again. "You did good, Castle."

He gave her a slow grin under her touch, winked at her. "I'm always good."

She laughed, dipped her head to kiss him again, lightly. She liked the hum against her lips and the way his chin knocked into hers at this angle.

"You certainly are for me."

* * *

"Lunch!"

He startled, and Reese jerked in his arms in response. Kate was standing beside the bench seat where he and Reese were napping; her hands were on her hips.

"What?" he said, easing out of the corner, his neck muscles cramping.

"Lunch. Let's go. I'm starving. Come on. Up, up, up."

"Did you find a kitchen table?"

"Yes. And I bought it. So time for lunch."

"Without me," he whined, closing his eyes, still tired.

"Snooze; you lose. Come on, get up."

He cracked open an eye and looked up at her, hair curling around her face now that it was dry, hands on her hips, that soft blue t-shirt dipping low in a v-neck. "You look pretty," he sighed.

She let out a startled laugh and leaned over him, tugged Reese out of his arms, cuddling the girl close. "Well, thanks for that. Not getting you out of lunch though."

He grinned back and shifted forward, got to his feet as he rubbed his eyes. "Okay, fine. Lunch." He nudged on her hip but she was already turning around, heading for the door.

* * *

"I also might have bought a dress," she murmured around her sandwich.

Castle lifted his eyes to her and laughed. "Oh, you did?"

"Yeah."

"You model it for me when it comes, and we're even."

"Even for what, Castle," she said with a raised eyebrow. "You think I owe you?"

"Heck yeah, you do. You bought the table without me."

She shrugged. "What about the bedding? Did you look at that before you fell asleep on me?"

"Actually, Reese fell asleep on me. So. . ."

"You didn't look at it."

"I might have. . .not really. No."

She kicked him lightly under the table and he wriggled his eyebrows at her to get a smile.

"I'm surprised you didn't go ahead and buy it, knowing you." He grumbled at her and shifted Reese to let her stand; she bounced happily and gurgled at them. That snagged a smile from Kate instead, and she shook her head.

"You're so picky, Castle. I wanted to make sure you liked it. I don't want to have to listen to you whine every time we go to bed."

"You know, there are ways to avoid that."

"Yeah, like getting your opinion-"

"No, like distraction. Thorough and sexy distraction. All you'd need would be. . .well, nothing. Exactly nothing. Who cares about the bedding if you're in it naked?"

She tilted her head at him, lips pursed in that smile she always gave him when she didn't want to smile but couldn't help it.

Score.

And this time he didn't get a kick under the table, he got the slow and erotic slide of her foot up the inside of his leg.

"Eat your lunch, woman," he growled, releasing the baby with one hand to catch her foot. "I'm getting hungry."

"Sorry, almost finished. Then I'll take her and you can-"

"Not the hungry I'm thinking of."


	14. Chapter 14

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

"You think she's okay down there?"

"Yeah, just watch her," Castle answered.

Kate hovered over Reese on the floor, waited to be sure that the girl wouldn't roll. The baby was on her back attempting to swat the dangling toys that hung from overhead. Kate thumped the mirror to get Reese's attention and the girl shot a startled look to the soft thing, then tried to reach for it.

Castle fingers trailed over Kate's shoulder. "She'll be fine. Get up here. I'm supposed to be looking at bedding."

Kate lifted from the floor and crawled up beside him on the bed; Castle pulled up the web browser again with a yawn that cracked his jaw.

"Jeez, like you didn't just have a nap," she muttered, reaching across him to get to the bedding she'd left on the page.

"Tired. You've had the last two years to nap all the stinking time. Don't be selfish - it's my turn now."

She laughed at that, dug her elbow into his side. "Here, lazy bones. Look. It's brown."

"Wow. Actually. I do like it. It's - more me than you."

"It's simple. Just that one grey stripe down the side, a little off-kilter. Makes it different enough for me. Tried to find something we could agree on, because. . ."

"Because?"

She found the other page and showed him the sheets she wanted.

He strangled a laugh, shaking his head at her. "They're. . .paisley."

"Pretty cool, huh? Modern paisley."

"Looks like you."

"But they go with it, don't they. Brown and turquoise. They're also your ridiculously expensive thread count. So it's all staid and boring Castle on the outside but fun and silky-"

She got a growl and a poke in the side for that comment, felt him laughing at her anyway.

"Fine, fine. We'll get them both - bed set and sheets. Jeez, you are such a girl. Who knew you liked _stuff._"

"I like. . .my stuff, our stuff. And this will be home for us, Castle. For a good long while, I hope."

"Yeah," he said softly, already adding the sheets to a shopping cart and checking out. "You're right. We'll make it look like home, Kate. One piece at a time."

She leaned in and kissed his shoulder, her lips catching the line of his tshirt and bare skin. He was warm and he was strong against her body; he'd moved from guilt-ridden to teasing her about the past.

They were going to have a home in Versailles, together; the home they'd wanted, planned for, before all of this happened. Geography had changed, _they _had changed, but the vital things had not.

* * *

Castle jerked when she knocked into his knees, lifting his head as he watched Kate maneuver around the tight space with Reese in her arms.

She made a short circuit and then started it again, brushing by him once more.

"Going stir crazy?" he said, lifting an eyebrow.

She paced the berth again, jiggling Reese as the baby fussed. "Yes," she said shortly. "Cabin fever."

They probably both were - she and Reese. The baby was used to having the whole castle to roam with her mother, the grounds as well. This small, tight space for the last thirty hours was probably not enough stimulation for their daughter. Definitely not enough for Kate, though he'd tried, last night.

"Go somewhere," he said, smothering a grin. "Take her out and down the hall."

"Hall's not much different," she muttered, but she was already going to the door.

"You good with her?" he said, lifting his head from the ipad game.

She waved him off with a hand, which he took to be affirmative, and she jostled the door handle trying to get out.

"Kate," he sighed, standing to help her.

"I got it."

"Yeah, but-"

"I'm fine."

"Jeez, what is with you?"

She turned back to him with a flare of her nostrils, lips pressed tight, Reese still wriggling and antsy. "I just want to be there already. I'm tired of waiting. This train cannot get there fast enough."

"Well, your mood is affecting Reese, and-"

"She's fine. We'll walk; we'll go to the dining car."

She was slipping out of the berth already, backing into the hallway with a last look at him.

He tried to shake off her attitude. "Get me a piece of pie. Something sweet."

She rolled her eyes and disappeared.

Whew, good. Finally. She was driving him nuts.

* * *

Um. It'd been over an hour.

Castle slid the ipad into their bag and scraped his hand through his hair, rubbed at his eyes. His back popped as he moved and he twisted his torso to loosen things up.

An hour wasn't too bad, really. But he still wondered about her. He'd wonder about her if she wasn't. . .

Yeah, okay. He wouldn't.

He could wonder about Reese, right? Just like he'd wonder about Alexis.

He slid out of their berth and down the hall, glancing in at the bathroom, then kept on going towards the dining car. His leg was tingling, blood coming back into his toes; he hadn't realized he'd been cutting off circulation. Probably a good thing to move around.

When he got to the dining car and slid open the door, Kate and Reese were holding court at a booth.

The place was mostly empty, that strange time between late lunch and early dinner, and the employees had clustered around Kate, draped on the booth or leaning against the side of the car. She was teasing Reese and the girl was doing her bouncy, happy dance, feet pushing off Kate's legs. Whatever Kate was saying in French made the whole crowd laugh.

Castle stood at the edge of the dining car for a moment, watching, soaking it in, and then headed for them.

Kate's eyes caught his and she murmured something to the man sitting across from her; he got up and the crowd parted, so Castle slid into the booth, propping his elbows on the table.

"Hey there," he said, drowning his smirk with a hard press of his mouth, steepling his fingers.

"Hey," she said, grinning back.

"Thought you were gonna get me some pie."

"Meant to, then just. . .kinda got a crowd."

"See that. Everyone loves you, huh?"

She laughed. "It's Reese. She has your charm."

"You got charm of your own," he murmured.

"Hmm, could be true. Got you with it, didn't I?"

He grinned at her, and already some of the group was dispersing, going back to their jobs, but she had a few loyal followers, a short man with a grin still tickling Reese neck with a finger.

Another clapped his hands together and held them out; he said something that sounded like a question and Kate handed Reese over.

Castle laughed and watched Reese getting passed around; she seemed to love the attention, much like Alexis had as a baby.

"So. Let's have some pie," he said, turning back to Kate with a grin.

* * *

When the waitress had to give up Reese and go back to work, Castle took the baby and figured they'd better get back to their own berth before the dinner rush started. Reese was falling asleep on his chest, overstimulated from being handed around, but she was struggling to stay awake, her eyes startling wide at every little movement.

"We should get her back," Kate murmured across from him.

"Yeah," he agreed quietly, easing to a standing position. He cupped his hand around Reese's head to keep her against him as Kate slid out of the booth. The baby bobbed against him but fell into his chest with a little sigh, her mouth opening and closing against his shirt.

"She's almost out," Kate whispered, casting a glance at him. She reached over and stroked the back of her finger along Reese's cheek and the baby's eyes slipped shut.

Castle nudged Kate forward and they moved down the aisle towards their car. He was glad for wasting a couple hours in the dining car, change of scenery, but he was eager to get back to their berth, that little bubble of just the three of them again.

Kate stepped through the door and held it open for him as he came through; he carried Reese to the bed, debated what to do next. He didn't really want to let her go. Her little cheek was pressed against him, her mouth pursed and open, her dark lashes against her cheeks. Castle lightly ran his thumb along the pink shell of her ear, so soft and small, and dropped a faint kiss to the top of her head.

"Just hold her, then, you big softie," Kate murmured. When he glanced over at her, she was smiling indulgently, lips quirking at him.

"She's sweet like this," he whispered back, and felt it in his chest, a thing drawn to his daughter, clinging to her, and he knew it would never stop, never end, a magnet pull. He felt it still towards Alexis, faintly ill at ease when she was gone and settled when she was in sight. It would be the same with Reese, whenever she grew up and left the nest, and so he'd take this moment as it was offered, hold her close against him, too small to protest, too needful to want anything other than his heartbeat under her cheek.

"You're getting all sentimental on me, aren't you?" Kate sighed at him, her hand coming to rest against Reese's back and her mouth brushing Castle's cheek. "So go on. Cuddle your baby while I take a nap."

"Can I cuddle you too?"

"No."

He scowled.

"How are you gonna manage that, Castle?" She raised an eyebrow at him even as she moved around him towards the bed.

"Where there's a will, there's a way," he shot back.

She glanced at him over her shoulder, and shook her head. "All right. Fine."

"Oh, yay!"

"Keep your voice down," she murmured on a soft laugh. "And come here. I'm about ready to fall asleep as it is."

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned, carefully wedging himself and Reese into one corner and kicking off his shoes. He pulled his legs up and stretched them out over the bed even as Kate studied him. "You coming?"

"Hmm." She put a knee to the bed and crawled up until she was right at his face. She dropped a kiss to Reese's head and then glanced down at his legs. "Here, just. . .Help me figure this out." But she was laughing at him, her hair tumbled around her face.

"Let me kinda prop up here with the pillows," he murmured, moving a few behind him, and then the thicker blanket back there too. It took some wriggling around, all the while Kate looking less and less happy with the idea of cuddling, until he was ready. Reese was stirring on his chest, so he curled his hand at her ear and let the ocean noise drown her back to sleep.

"Okay, come on," he said, patting the other side of his chest in encouragement.

Kate huffed but crawled up next to him, half propped up on his pillows and half on his torso. It put her eye level with the baby and that got a smile; she brushed her fingertips over Reese's little arm, down to her tiny hand, the image of Kate's long, nimble fingers curling around that small, soft hand nearly making him cry.

But he manned up. A little.

"See? Nice, isn't it?" he murmured.

"Don't push it," Kate muttered. But as he wrapped his free arm around her shoulders and angled himself a little more against the back of their berth, her weight was warm and heavy against him, already dipping into sleep.

With Reese and Kate face to face on his chest, he could see their profiles in the waning light, the round slope of the baby's nose not at all like her mother's, but the mouths were identical shapes, the lashes mirroring images.

Beautiful.

* * *

When she opened her eyes, Kate could see Reese asleep right in front of her nose. She carefully untangled an arm from Castle's strange grip, slipped her fingers over that soft, baby cheek. Open-mouthed, slumbering still.

Kate lifted her head from Castle's chest and saw that he was asleep as well.

It was quiet in their berth and he'd pulled a blanket up over her shoulders, creating a cocoon of warmth around their little family. They weren't sitting up anymore either; they'd all slumped down in the corner. His neck was going to ache like that.

"Castle," she murmured, lifting her fingers to his head. "Castle, wake up."

She tried to maneuver his head off the side of the train's wall, but he grunted and came awake, his arms tightening instinctively around her and Reese.

"Sorry," he slurred, eyes slitting open. "Didn't mean to fall asleep."

"No, I just wanted you to move. Your neck-"

He groaned and rotated his head a little, then wormed his way down the bed, still half-propped up on the pillows, but his neck no longer at that awkward angle. "Gonna be stiff."

She pressed her fingertips into the muscle around his verterbrae and lifted up to get better leverage. Reese slept on, sacked out on Castle's chest, so Kate did what she could to work the knots out of his neck.

"Thanks," he sighed, his eyes slipping shut again.

"Castle," she murmured, digging deeper into his warm skin. "Dinner?"

"Too tired. Too good right here."

She smiled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "Okay. Well. They stop serving at eight tonight, because the train pulls into Paris at ten."

"Ohhh, ug. I don't wanna get up yet."

Kate laughed, felt it move through her and vibrate him as well until he was groaning at her.

"No, no, back to sleep." He tried to cover her mouth with his hand, shut her up, but Kate ducked and slapped his hand away.

"In an hour then," she said in compromise. "An hour more and then we go in for dinner."

"Fine, fine. Now hush. Me and peanut are working on a nap."

She snagged his fingers and squeezed tightly, but she could tell he was skimming on the edges of sleep.

* * *

At dinner, the employees kept dropping by their table to see Reese. The bartender, an older man, couldn't get away, but he sent over two glasses of wine and raised a glass to them in salute.

Castle grinned around his fork and swallowed his bite of fish, met Kate's eyes over the table.

"You've got fans."

"Reese-" she disagreed, shaking her head.

"Not just Reese. You're gorgeous and funny and smart - you speak the language; add adorable baby to the list, and yeah - winning combination."

She smiled at him, that intimate shy smile she had when she was both sure and unsure at the same time. He had to look away, or he'd start planning naughty things to do to her tonight. When they got home.

He might do those things anyway.

Instead of thinking about it, Castle watched the waitress as she carried Reese with her to the next table, a babble of languages flowing around his daughter that she absolutely soaked right up, grinning and working her little feet. She kept getting a fist into her mouth, gnawing on it, and the table would laugh, the waitress would gingerly tug it loose, and Reese would blink in surprise.

"For once, we both get to eat at the same time," Kate said, nudging his knee with her foot under the table.

He turned back to her with a grin. "Yeah. It's kinda nice. Like having nine or ten baby-sitters."

"I'm keeping an eye on them."

"Me too," he admitted, shrugging at her. "But the waitress - Elsie - she's protective. She keeps-"

"-turning everyone else away?" Kate laughed. "Yeah, I saw that. And protecting Reese's head. So. She passes with flying colors."

"So far," he answered, wriggling his eyebrows at her. He turned around again to look, and Elsie was headed back their direction, her fingers curled gently at Reese's neck, keeping her stable.

She came to Kate and handed the baby over, flushing as she let go. "_Je vous la rends. Elle est vraiment adorable. Merci de m'avoir laissée jouer avec elle._"

Something about adorable. He caught that much.

Kate smiled and replied back, a simple _you're welcome_ that Castle did understand. He smiled at Elsie as she beamed and backed away, running off to do her job once more.

Reese was active against Kate's shoulder, straining her head up and wriggling around, trying to see all the movement, the people passing, the flare of lights outside the black window. She shoved her fist into her mouth again and Kate seemed to feel like he did - let her have it; a reward for persevering.

Castle shoved the rest of his excellent fish into his mouth, hurried through the vegetables, and took a last, appreciative sip of wine before reaching out both hands for his daughter.

Kate gave her up with a smile of thanks, and Castle settled back into the booth with his little girl face out, her back against his chest. She kicked her feet into his legs, bouncing, so he let her try to stand, keeping his thumbs at the back of her neck as a brace in case she was tired.

Reese waved her arms and Kate finger-waved back at her, making the baby laugh.

Castle gripped her harder, his smile widening at the stunned look on Kate's face.

"Did she just laugh at me?"

Castle shrugged. "Could be." Maybe not quite. . .maybe just coincidence, but it was cool. It was really sappy and goofy, but it was seriously cool.

Kate grinned and leaned in closer, wriggled her fingers at Reese until she tickled the girl under the chin. Reese cooed and blew a spit bubble, making Kate laugh in return. Castle chuckled, wiping her chin with his finger and then swiping it along the leg of her snap pajamas. Baby frogs leaped across the pattern, now smeared with spit on one knee.

"Ew. Castle. She's sleeping in those."

"Won't hurt her."

Kate rolled her eyes but leaned back in the booth, working at finishing her dinner as well. Castle turned the baby back around to him, stroked his finger down her nose for her attention. She smacked her lips and blew another bubble, getting a laugh from him, which made her bounce in his arms, feet pushing off his thigh, the edge of the table.

"Whoa, there, peanut butter. You're gonna push right out of my lap. Look at you go. Dance, dance."

She bounced in his arms some more, but then her head crashed into his shoulder and she gave it up; he cradled her close, pushing kisses into her neck, giving her raspberries with his lips until she squealed.

He heard Kate snickering and lifted his eyes, saw her pressing her fingers to her mouth to hold it in.

"You making fun of me?"

"Just a little bit. The. . .ah. . .motorboating?"

"Fine. See if I do it to you."

She lifted an eyebrow.

He grinned wickedly.

"You are ridiculous."

"Not what you said last night."


	15. Chapter 15

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

In the hallway, Kate had to pass Reese back to him, a wordless grunt as she shoved the baby against his chest and leaned into him. His arms came up automatically, holding Kate in place as well, and she dropped her forehead to his neck and breathed through it.

With Reese sandwiched between them, Kate could feel her own arms weakening so she shifted, but Castle slid a hand between them and secured the baby.

"Dizzy," she said finally.

"The wine?"

"Maybe," she murmured, swallowing it down.

"Let me know," he said back, his arm drawing tighter around her shoulders. _When you're ready._

She stayed like that until the powerful pull of gravity seemed to give up, Castle unquestioning, quiet, steady. He'd moved them to one side of the narrow hall between the berths, allowing dinner guests to move past them.

Kate lifted her head. "Okay. I'm okay now."

"Let's get you back then."

She nodded and stepped away, kept her hand at his chest for balance. Castle remained where he was, waiting on her, and she took a quick inventory of herself before starting to move.

She made it down the hall, slid open the door of their berth, and even maneuvered around the table to the bed without a problem.

"Yeah?" he said quietly, lifting an eyebrow.

She nodded - she was fine now - and watched him with Reese, jealous for it, but Castle was putting her in the carrier to sleep. "Castle-"

"We've only got a few hours, so maybe she'll nap before we disembark?"

"No, let's keep her awake. That way she'll sleep on the way home."

He grinned slowly at her, a flush to his cheeks that was either because of the wine or her words, hard to tell. "On the way home."

She smiled back. "Yeah. So get her back out for me. I want her."

Castle turned to the carrier and carefully unstrapped Reese once more, earning him a smacking-lips smile from the baby as he brought her over to her mother. Kate patted the bed and Castle put the Reese on her tummy, let her push off against the mattress. Kate curled her body around Reese's, pushed her fingers into the crease at the girl's elbow.

Castle sat down with them, stretching out his legs on the other side of the baby to keep her from rolling off. Kate eased her head onto his thigh, felt his hand come to card through her hair.

She sighed.

"Just a little dizziness, Kate."

She nodded; she'd long ago stopped berating herself for what she couldn't do. Still. "Glad you were there."

"You'd just have sat down on the floor," he murmured. "I know because I've seen you do it before."

She glanced up at him, saw the tease in his lips. "Uh-huh. True."

"That one day I came home and found you almost at the top of the stairs-?"

Kate groaned and pressed her face into his leg. "I was so mad. Nearly there."

"Yeah. I could tell," he laughed back, squeezed her shoulder. "You cursed me out for twenty minutes. Why were there seventy-eight stone steps, why not just seventy, why-"

"Not you. Me." She laughed a little, pushing off his thigh to sit up against him. "I wasn't mad at you. And yeah, I knew every single step of that place. Why you thought we should live in a freezing cold Russian castle with more steps than the Empire State Building, I will never understand."

He winced, but the grin was still on his face, matching hers. "Okay. So in hindsight, recovering in a freezing cold castle with too many staircases was not. . .the smartest choice."

"Well, I - no. I liked it there."

"It was cozy at night," he murmured, and she felt his fingers trail at her side. "With that huge fireplace downstairs."

"We turned it into a den." She hummed and closed her eyes, felt the flames, and his body holding hers up, the way his hands worshipped, so careful and soft, how she couldn't help yielding, every time. How strange and erotic and beautiful it was to yield to him, when for so long she'd been the one dictating things.

"That massive couch was just - but we piled pillows and blankets on it and there was the bear skin rug, moth-eaten but-"

She felt him shrug, and she laughed into the darkness of his side, remembering the way her arms hooked around his neck as he carried her to the couch, the hitch in her breath that he always paused to let pass, the carefulness of his body, how he cherished her.

"I loved the kitchens," she added, her hand dropping to his thigh. "They were always making me something. That thick goulash stuff - mm, so good. And _shchi_. Cabbage soup's not my favorite, but theirs. . .and those dumplings. Oh wow. I'm going to miss those."

"Trying to fatten you up. Not even my idea," he chuckled softly. "They did that all on their own."

"Don't know why. It's not like I refused to eat."

"Well, when we first got there. . .you looked - scary."

Kate lifted her head on a laugh. "Scary? Jeez, thanks, Castle."

"You weren't holding on to anything, remember? Nothing would stay down. And it'd been months since prison, but - I could see every bone. Scared the shit out of me."

She took in a long breath. She remembered - remembered crying on the floor of the bathroom, terrified that after all this time, she would just waste away to nothing no matter how badly she wanted to stay, remembered watching him stare at her, both of them worried she was just dying slowly now. "I scared myself." She couldn't seem to keep on the weight, her muscles were atrophying, her body unable to keep going.

Castle cupped her elbow, stroke his thumb over the skin. "I think the first six months. . .I didn't sleep the night through, afraid you had stopped breathing. I sleep more now waking up every few hours to feed Reese."

Kate blinked hard and curled her arm around his torso, felt his lips grace her temple. "Castle. Honestly. . .if I hadn't gotten pregnant, I don't know that I'd have made it."

His hand stroked up her arm to clutch tightly at her shoulder, but she wriggled out of his tight grip and sat up straight, smiling gently as Reese batted a fist at Kate's knee.

He shook his head; she felt the movement on the bed and turned to look at him. "You were. . .doing so well. Right before. Like three weeks, almost a month of really. . .And then the pregnancy seemed to take everything, Kate. It was always two steps forward, one step back. . .why would you think-"

She squeezed his wrist, laced her fingers with his. "It wasn't. . .I don't know. I can't explain it. It was a mutual thing, Castle."

"A mutual thing," he repeated. She knew he didn't understand.

"Something about it. Loving her. Wanting her. Feeling her move. Symbiotic - I was giving her life and she did the same for me. I don't know. She was - there. And she kept me there too." Kate glanced over and saw the look on his face, jealousy or yearning, she couldn't tell. "You were my light, Castle, in all that darkness. But. . .she was - I don't know - an anchor; she kept me tethered."

He huffed out a long breath, his fingers tangling in her hair, stroking the back of her neck. He seemed not to have words, but his hands needed to touch, his eyes travel over her and back to meet her gaze. And then his lips twitched. "That's kinda cheesy, you know."

She grinned, didn't even stop it. "Yeah. I know. Guess you've rubbed off on me."

He laughed, a pure and bright sound in the darkness of their berth that spread her open and let her breathe again. Such a beautiful man, and she was in love with him.

Kate slid a knee over his lap and then moved astride him, rocking slowly into his hips. His hands flexed on her neck, her hip, and she leaned in close. Her mouth hovered at his ear, humming as she felt him react.

"Keep an eye on our girl."

"She's safe. Do your worst."

* * *

Alexis was there when they disembarked in Paris; she practically knocked her father over with her hug, tangling them both in bags and baby stuff. She turned to Kate next and eased her way into a hug, careful of Reese, kissing Kate's cheeks like she was a native. Kate opened her mouth - probably to say something about the ex-boyfriend in London - but Castle gave her elbow a squeeze and she stopped, sighing.

Castle watched as Alexis went for Reese last of all, her pale hands against Reese's frog-print pajamas, his daughter gathering close his daughter. His girls.

He felt Kate slide her arm through his and glanced down at her; she was regarding him with that knowing look. Her mouth was gentle as she kissed the side of his neck, her hair soft against his chin.

"Oh, beautiful baby," Alexis was purring, trying to cuddle Reese like a newborn, but the girl fought it with squeals and kicking feet. Alexis laughed and held her up against her chest, careful of her head, and glanced over at her father. "She's feisty."

"She has her own mind," Kate said, nudging him before he could say anything.

"She was so tiny the last time I saw her," Alexis mourned. "I feel like she's an entirely different person."

"Kinda feels like that to us too," Castle said, drawing his hand down to twine his fingers with Kate's. He got them moving away from the platform, Kate taking the bag from his shoulder so he could grab the rest of their luggage, their hands still linked together.

"Look at how alert she is," Alexis cooed. "Aren't you, Reesie? You should be so tired, peanut butter."

"Oh no," Kate groaned next to him. "Not you too, Alexis. She'll never outgrow it. Poor, chubby thing."

"Hey now," Alexis laughed, cuddling Reese to her cheek, overdoing it a bit probably because she could. Because the three - four - of them hadn't gotten much time together as a family. "She's just got baby fat. And Dad texted me to say you call her peanut butter cup too."

"Not when I can help it," Kate sighed.

"But she so does," Castle added. "She does all the time. Admit it, Kate Beckett, you think it's adorable."

He felt the hesitation in Kate's step, heard Alexis's sucked in breath, and even then - even then - it took him a long, terrible heartbeat to realized what he'd said.

But Kate was grinning slowly at him then, a wide and glorious and _free_ thing that soared. She looked proud of him; she looked proud of herself.

"I think it's adorable," she said finally, and tightened her fingers in his as she leaned in to kiss him.

The bag must have made her off-balanced, because her mouth crashed against his with a huff, and she caught herself by clutching his arms, her laughter beaming out and illuminating the Parisian night.

And right on cue, Reese's happy baby giggles echoed her mother's, the two sounds so very different but so amazingly the same.

Castle kissed his wife, and then kissed her again, and then once more, loving the breathless, beautiful joy spilling out of her and into him, into them all, their family.


	16. Epilogue

**Unvanquished: Redux**

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

Kate stood on the balcony of their Versailles apartment, letting the breeze touch her cheeks, scatter her hair. It was cold but the morning sun was warm on her skin and she'd wrapped Reese in layers upon layers.

The couch was supposed to arrive sometime today, and the chairs a few days after that. She'd gone to Ikea with Castle a few times this past week, bought one or two things, and the place was slowly becoming their own. The broad and open expanse of the breakfast room was her favorite so far, and the balcony doors leading off of it were a constant draw.

Reese squirmed in her lap and she looked away from the pink-tinged sky to the baby yawning in her lap. Four months old today. Pudgy knees, a hand up by her face, eyes still closed to the morning.

"Sleep, peanut," she murmured, drawing Reese against her chest for warmth.

When the doors opened from the apartment, she turned her head and smiled at him.

"Hey, Dad."

Jim stepped out onto the balcony with her and held his hands out for his granddaughter, taking her effortlessly, cradling her stocking-capped head in one broad palm. "Wondered where you went."

"Everyone else still asleep?" she murmured. Every muscle in her body ached, those in her smile most of all, but she wouldn't stop. Everyone from home, and the daily treks, all of them like tourists. . .

"All asleep. Well, I didn't personally check on your friends, but their doors were closed."

Castle hadn't told her, back when they'd been looking at the Carré des Siècles apartments, but he'd planned on buying two - the only two on their floor. He'd sent contractors ahead of them and created two suites out of the apartment next door, sharing that kitchen, with connecting doors to their own.

Now Esposito, the Ryans, and Lanie were sharing it while her father, his mother, and Alexis all had their own rooms here.

Everyone.

"You look good, sweetheart."

Kate lifted her head and took the kiss he aimed at her cheek, hugged him around his neck as he settled next to her with Reese in his arms.

"I feel good," she said quietly. "I'm not the same. But I don't want to be the same."

Her father was stroking his finger down Reese's nose, startling her awake just to watch her drop back into sleep again. He spoke to Kate with his eyes on the baby.

"Rick asked me to move in."

Kate stilled, her breath caught by the admission. "He - he did?"

"That's what the place next door is for. His mother - well, we'd share the kitchen but there's plenty of space."

Her heart was pounding.

"Everyone in New York knows Rick is. . .looking after me," Jim continued. His voice was scratched with morning, just as it always was when she was a child, that rough awakening to his daughter's too-early risings. But he'd always been the one to get up with her. "They all think I'll slip right back into the bottle."

She reached out and snaked her arm through his.

"I might have," he said quietly. "That's the thing about it. I can't say I wouldn't."

She knew that too.

He cleared his throat. "But here."

"You'd come?" she startled, drawing away to look at his face. "Dad. It's. . .France."

"I - well. I'd have you to translate. I'd have you. You and Reese. That's what matters. Family."

She couldn't even. . .she had nothing to say that wouldn't be _please, Daddy, _and she wanted him to make this decision because he really did-

"If you'd rather I didn't-"

"Oh no. No," she said in a rush, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on. "I want you here. Please. Castle didn't tell me that he-"

"I think it was meant to be a welcome home present," her father said with a soft chuckle. He was hugging her back with one arm, Reese held up against his chest.

"Like all of you being here wasn't welcome home enough," she muttered, shaking her head and tilting back from him, swiping tears from her cheeks even as she laughed. "He's crazy." Her friends were spending the _month_ in Paris.

"He is. A little bit," her father agreed. "Exactly what you need."

Kate glanced down at the baby, stroked two fingers over the soft forehead. "Have to agree with you there. So you'll stay?"

"I'll stay. You know Kevin and Javier are working on getting your name cleared, back in the city?"

She went still, felt the quick-hard start of her heart in her chest whenever she thought about that murder, that case, that whole snarled, tangled knot of lies and death and corruption. How she'd been framed, arrested, taken away before she even had a chance-

"I didn't know," she said quietly. She kept her gaze on Reese and let out a breath, carefully approached her center, let the calm eye surround her. She lifted her eyes to her father. "If they do. . .then they do. If not, Dad, I'm not dwelling there. I'm living here."

"I'm glad for that." He gave her a twitch of his lips. "And maybe I'm living here too?"

"Maybe?"

He shrugged. "Definitely."

She let out a relieved breath. "Definitely." Her smile came freely, her knees pressed to his, her father. "Thank you."

"Thank me? Thank Rick. Thank. . .you. Katie. You're. . .and look at this little thing. How beautiful she is."

Jim was stroking the furled edge of Reese's fingers, his thumb fitted into her palm, and cradling her so close, so awed.

Castle had done this.

"I'm - can Reese stay with you for a little bit?" she said quickly, standing up.

Her father didn't even look at her. "Of course. Yes. It's cold out here; we'll follow you in."

She opened the balcony door and watched him step over the threshold, his eyes still on the baby. Yeah, she knew the feeling.

"Reese and I will get to know each other," her father said softly, heading immediately to the lone, sagging chair they'd sent over from Russia. Jim didn't seem to mind its tattered shape; he sunk back into it, eyes only for Reese.

Kate pressed her hand to his shoulder and kissed the top of his head as she passed.

* * *

Castle woke to the feeling of fingers in his hair, smooth and cool.

Kate was smiling over him, perched at the edge of the bed, dressed for the day, her hair still wet but beginning to curl.

"Kate," he murmured, lifting his lips for a smile and shifting into the warmth of her thigh.

She huffed a little laugh and kept trailing her fingers along his scalp, her thumb rubbing over the ridge of his eyebrow. Felt good; he could fall back asleep so easily.

"My dad says he's moving in next door."

His eyes popped open.

Her thumb brushed across his cheekbone, skimmed his lips. He drew in a quick breath and gathered himself to explain-

"Thank you, Rick."

She was already moving to slide into bed with him, her mouth at his collarbone, his bare shoulder, her fingers still trailing in his hair as she straddled him.

He didn't know what to say. She should have her family, all the family that was left to her. "We'll be careful about family outings," he said finally. "I won't go if there might be photographers - just you and Reese and your dad-"

"No," she murmured, shaking her head as she leaned over him. Her hair brushed her shoulders and he reached up to stroke it back over her ear even as she settled. Her forearms were propped on his chest, her mouth hovering close. "We won't hide. We'll go wherever we want as a family."

He blinked slowly, mesmerized by her mouth, the dark, deep love in her eyes.

"Did you know Javi and Kevin are trying to exonerate me?"

He nodded.

"I thought so," she murmured, and her fingers played at his chin, stroked his lips. He wrapped his arms around her back, slid a palm under her shirt to the warm skin.

"Kate-"

"I love you," she said quietly, intently, and put her mouth on his.

Their kiss was everything - tender and aggressive, the battle of her tongue against his, the slow strokes that made his hips follow, the paradox of love and need. He slid his fingers through her hair until he could touch her cheek, stroke the soft skin.

When their lips parted, it was only a moment, a mingling of breaths, the rhythm of each other.

She trailed her kiss to the corner of his mouth, down along his jaw, settling deeper into him, over him, her body warm and attentive.

"Everything you did for me, the way you loved me enough to risk everything, lose everything-"

"I know you'd have done the same for me," he finished, couldn't let her even start. He found the edge of her mouth and waited there a moment, felt her breath slow and steady. "That's gone, Kate. Over. Let me show you all the ways I love you now."

"Or."

He watched her smile spread slowly, surely, seductively across her face.

"Or?"

"I could show you."


End file.
